May Newsletter & Slideshow

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FAMILY:  Whew! May is over & we survived the last month of the school year! Hooray! May was filled with end-of-year school activities – field trips, homework, projects, programs, and the mini mall. And all that with trying to keep up with the needs of a newborn. We sure love our Noelle and have enjoyed her so much! The Share (pregnancy & infant loss) group of Southern Utah had their first walk of remembrance & hope on May 10^th & we are so thankful for the support we received from our family! The Edwards & Potts drove down and the Hamiltons & Devishes drove up. There were probably 250 people there & it was a humbling, wonderful tribute to the babies we have lost. Heidi put together a poster and a shirt transfer for Link. After the walk, we came back to our house for pizza and visiting – and Jeff helped Jason install some shelves in our garage – thanks Jeff! Later that afternoon, our family, the Edwards & Potts drive down to St. George to visit Uncle Fred & Sandra. Then Heidi, Jason & Noelle stayed in St. George to have a little getaway for their 14^th wedding anniversary. Thanks Edwards & Potts for taking care of the older girls! Heidi, Jason & Noelle went out to eat and just enjoyed spending time and relaxing. The complimentary breakfast was also very good the next morning, which was Mother’s Day. Unfortunately, the Edwards and Potts who were at our home in Cedar City didn’t get such a good breakfast. A huge snow storm hit Cedar City and left about a foot of snow on the ground as well as knocking out the power for a few hours. Thankfully they were able to get heat from the stove and fireplaces and by the time Jason & Heidi got there about noon, the power was back on. It was still out at the church, though, and church ended up being cancelled. The Potts & Edwards got on the road quickly, but it took them 5 and a half hours instead of 3 because of the weather. The girls were very sweet on Mother’s Day & showered Heidi with lots of homemade cards and gifts. It was very sweet. The 12^th was Heidi & Jason’s anniversary, but also a meeting for McKinley’s upcoming play and an arts night at the girls’ school. It was very cute – McKinley & Ireland both did a little performance & we got to see some of the art they had been doing. On the 14^th, we headed to St. George to catch Camri’s band performance & a little of Daken’s baseball. Afterwards, we headed to DQ for some yummy ice cream! On the 16^th, we had a BBQ/water party with the Bealers. Good times J The 23^rd was the girls’ last day of school for the year – hooray! Heidi sent them to school with bag lunches that said “Ireland/McKinley’s last lunch of the 1^st/2^nd day!!” After their last day of school, we decided to go summer shopping! We went to the D.I. & got some summer clothes, then to Famous Footwear for some nice running shoes for all the girls. After all that shopping, we had a pizza/ice cream party. Yay for summer! Heidi rolled out about 8 feet of butcher paper & let the girls write things they wanted to do this summer. We have quite the bucket list! Mom shouldn’t ever hear the “bored” word J That next Saturday we (mostly dad) worked hard getting the side yard ready – leveling out all the dirt and finishing the retaining walls. Now it’s all ready for our garden boxes!! That evening, we went to the Hillsteads & enjoyed a yummy BBQ and visiting.  On Monday, we went swimming and to the cemetery. We met with Jason’s co-worker who very recently lost his son and we also saw our neighbors there. Afterwards, Jason took the girls fishing & they had a fun time. After Jason finished work on the 29^th, we headed to Salt Lake for a quick trip. Friday, the 30^th, was Heidi’s cousin Ivory’s wedding dinner in Mapleton. Saturday the 31st, McKinley & Kezia did a 5k walk with the Potts’ stake and then later we headed to Lehi for Ivory’s wedding and reception. It was very beautiful, the food was yummy, and it was wonderful to visit with family.

JASON:  Jason had a busy month with scouts – working with the young men to get their eagles completed before their missions, and also helping with their mission prep. He attended an Eagle Scout court of Honor for Mitchell Beacham and was given an Eagle Scout Mentor Pin. Way to go!! He is such a great leader & mentor. He was also busy at work and assisted in heading up an intense budget meeting at the end of the month. Here at home he stayed busy – fixing sprinkler heads that his wife broke while mowing (sorry babe!) and working very hard to get the side yard ready for garden boxes.

 HEIDI: Heidi is still in the throes of newborn-mommy brain fog, but she is truly enjoying the time she spends with Noelle. She has decided to only check facebook on Fridays now, so she can focus on her new baby girl and her other children & husband, and that has helped a lot to free up time and priorities. She has started running again and is up to five (very slow) miles currently, working on getting ready for the half marathon in September. She enjoyed meeting new people at the Share walk and reading stories of so many babies taken too soon. She enjoyed making Link’s poster and shirt transfer and sharing his story. Mother’s Day was different with church being cancelled, but it was wonderful to spend time with those that made me a mother. For Mother’s Day, she got a maxi skirt from the Share Walk. We also had a little mother’s day retreat in Salt Lake at the end of the month, with a waffle breakfast, shopping at Gardner Village, and ice cream at Cold Stone. Heidi has also been spending her time working on Ireland’s birthday book and she FINALLY FINISHED transferring grandma’s VHS & Hi8 tapes. YAY!!!!!

McKINLEY:

-McKinley worked so hard at the beginning of the month on her Activity Days Mother’s Day program. She practiced “Be our Guest” almost every night and she made a beautiful pillow. It was so special to go with McKinley to the church and have yummy food, play games, watch her sing “Be Our Guest,” make bracelets, get our pictures taken, and just be with her special, sweet, beautiful daughter. Thank you McKinley for such a special day!

-Another testament to McKinley’s thoughtfulness was teacher appreciation week. Not only did she write a sweet note for Mrs. Hardin, her teacher, but she wrote probably 8 other notes for other teachers, secretaries, and even janitors!

-McKinley did a special performance at the Randall L. Jones Theater – it was a math/arts presentation and she was the leader of a small group of her classmates doing a dance about the tasks of the day – going fast or slow. She did a great job!!

-At the North Elementary Arts Night, McKinley’s class did a rendition of Persius in Greek Mythology. She was Athena, the goddess of knowledge. She also played a mermaid. She was wonderful!

-McKinley did an animal habitat report & chose to do it on the tundra J She made animals out of play doh and made a snow scene from a cardboard box.

-McKinley still has fear of being alone at night, so her sisters still sleep with her. She also has fear of taking showers alone. She had a nightmare about mom and dad’s room, so she doesn’t want to take a shower in there, and she says the swirls in the cultured marble of the girls’ shower remind her of witches and things, so she doesn’t want to take a shower in there!

 -McKinley worked hard this month on the mini-mall for her school. She made LOTS of neat bracelets, caramel popcorn balls, and she bought some candy to sell. She did really well! She sold all her bracelets, all but 3 of her popcorn balls, and just a handful of candy. She said she made over 500 liMe tickets! She had a lot of fun and also learned some lessons, like charging more. A guy in the booth next to her bought a lot of her bracelets for 2 tickets each, then sold them for 4 tickets each!  We will be charging more next year J

-McKinley got to have one last playdate with her friend MJ (Mary Jane) before she moved to Oregon L She will miss her friend!

-McKinley did such a great job this school year and we are excited for the upcoming years. They assigned her to the 2^nd/3^rd grade for next year and we are checking into that – we want her to be challenged for the next year, too! McKinley is sad that her teacher, Mrs. Hardin, is going to a different school and she won’t be able to see her after school L

-McKinley is still loving her baby sister and is so good to help with bringing her to mom, putting in her binki, getting her a blanket, reading a story to her, or just smiling and talking to her.

-McKinley is excited for the summer & especially her play rehearsals, which start next month!

IRELAND:

-Ireland got to go on lots of field trips, including going to the park to see some hawks and eagles!

-Ireland’s art night performance was so cute. First, they sang a cute song about what it is like to be a teacher, a parent, and an old person. Then they did a math play, where the audience had to come up with the answer to their equation that they acted out. Ireland was a fairy with beautiful wings and she did a wonderful job!

-Her class was learning about animals and they had to choose an animal to do a report on. Ireland chose the cheetah – “because they’re SO fast!”. She worked with mom on her poster and her oral report. At the end of the report, she said a joke – “what animal do you not want to sit by in a test?... a Cheetah!” J

-Ireland had fun at the mini mall at school. For her LiMe tickets, she bought a beautiful face painting, she got her nails painted, and she bought candy J

-Ireland had a “portfolio party” at the end of the school year & mom got to come in and see many of the science, arts & math projects Ireland had been working on this past year. They were awesome – great job Ireland!

-Ireland got the award “class peacemaker” – we love that & are so proud of her!

-Ireland had a fun playdate with Isabella at her new house – they played for 6 hours!

-One morning Ireland was playing with Noelle on the floor. She looked up at mom & dad and asked “When Noelle dies, will we do a Noelle chain instead of a Link chain?” We were a bit stunned by the question, but explained that we are really hoping that Noelle will not die. Ireland is so cute with her still and will lay by her and talk to her and kiss her repeatedly. We still have to try and convince her that even babies need space.

-We were doing our summer bucket list and we had lots of fun things on there – the park, flying kites, riding bikes, going to the movies, etc. Ireland added “Disneyland.” Hmmm- we don’t quite have the budget this summer for Disneyland J so mom changed it to Disney movie week. Ireland changed it back.

-Ireland is sad that her good friend, Mahina, is going to be gone for the summer L

-When we got to Salt Lake, Ireland woke up the next morning with an eye swollen shut and pink L Dad took her to the instacare & we got some eye drops for her, but now it’s spread to the other eye!

-Ireland is starting gymnastics next month – she is SO excited!

-This summer Ireland is looking forward to camping and her birthday!

KEZIA:

-Kezia got to go on a field trip to a local farm – she saw lots of animals & even got to hold a baby lamb!

-Kezi’s end of year assessment was wonderful! She has mastered all the skills they had for her – and more!

-Kezia is sad that preschool is over and she won’t get to see Callie anymore. She was also in tears about not seeing her teacher Lynette as well.

-We went to the park one day and mom asked why Kezi wore her dress. She replied “Because I wanted to show everyone my twirls!”

-One night she came into mom’s room complaining of a sore throat. She said “I think my throat hurts cuz I ate strawberry seeds and then kissed dirt. And then I drank water.”

-Kezi missed church for pinkeye one Sunday. Mom read that breastmilk can cure pink eye. So she got an eye dropper and gave it to her a few times a day. She wasn’t cooperating, so mom told her she’d get an M&M. Kezi said “That’s too short of a treat!”

-One night, for some reason, Kezia INSISTED on wearing pajama pants on her head to bed.

-Kezia continues to be so thoughtful – coloring multiple pictures & writing notes & drawing hearts to give to others. Lately, her thing has been to say she’s going outside to write with chalk, but the doorbell will ring and mom will find all sorts of cute notes on the doorstep. One day, the doorbell rang about 10 times, each with a note from Heidi’s “sisters” and a cute saying on it with hearts J

-Mom and Dad went on the back deck to enjoy the night after they put the kids to bed. After 20 minutes or so, we could hear loud crying. It was Kezi – she couldn’t find us and was so scared. We let her come out on the deck with us and she calmed down as she looked at the night sky. She said “look – there’s a rocket ship! I can see it moving!” Then she asked “Dad – which one is the Peter Pan star?”

-Kezi has decided she likes to wear her pants backwards lately.

-This summer, Kezi is most looking forward to seeing her grandparents, cousins, and going to Lagoon!

LINK:

We thought about Link a lot this month. It was so neat to honor him at the Share walk at the beginning of the month and we all wear our Link shirts with pride. Also at the end of the month, it was neat to go to the cemetery with so many others for Memorial Day and remember our baby boy. Heidi put some QR codes on the top of his headstone, so people could scan them and it would take them to her blog that tells about Link’s story and also his bench. We love the “magical hour” of the day – about 7pm – when the rainbows come through the windows and we think of Link. One day, mom was heading out with the girls to run errands and she looked up in the sky to see a cloud in the perfect shape of a heart! Then later, she heard Link’s song and she felt his love. Also – a lady from Hawaii contacted Heidi as she found the picture of the Link’s bench’s forget-me-nots online and talked about how touched she was to read his story and asked permission to use the picture of his forget-me-nots for a little book she’s doing for her grandkids.

NOELLE:

-Noelle is almost 2 months old now! She is getting cuter and more fun by the minute! We all adore our baby sunrise girl.

-She is starting to really smile consistently. She loves it when we stick out our tongue at her, sing to her, make clicking sounds, and monkey noises.

-Noelle is really starting to talk! It’s so adorable – she coos, goos, and does and excited shriek J

-She rotates during the day from the carpet in the living room, to the portable swing, to her vibrator chair, to the big swing, to the cow chair, and – of course – to her carseat when we have to go anywhere, which is quite frequently.

-She has started sleeping longer at night – the longest she’s gone now is 7 hours & we are enjoying the extra sleep for now! J

-She is eating well and starting to fill out. She still eats every 2-3 hours & has grown out of her newborn things.

-Noelle still has LOTS of dark, dark hair. It gets pretty crazy-looking sometimes –especially in the morning. She takes after her daddy J

-Noelle loves to stare at the pictures of her brother, Link, on the wall. We sure wish she could really talk and tell us about her experiences with him!

-The old overhead jungle gym broke L so we bought one that was as close to the old one as possible (which was harder to find that we thought!) with things that hang down that she can hit and the music will go off. She is starting to really love it and is getting good at hitting the things and making the music go. She will smile and talk as she hangs out under there. It’s so cute.

-So far, she’s been a pretty good traveler! She was fussy here & there, but overall did really great on our trip to Salt Lake!

-She still doesn’t have a lot of strength in her legs, but her neck is getting pretty strong!

-She is still so loud & we hear every sound because she sleeps with us – hiccups, snorts, grunts, coughs, and everything in-between. She is a loud sleeper!

-Noelle is finally not spitting up as much as the first month or so. But she still does every so often. When we were in St. George (and a couple more times, actually), mom fed Noelle & then patted her on her chest & Noelle proceeded to puke right down her shirt!

-She still gets the hiccups quite frequently!

-Noelle is SO loved by her parents & sisters (& brother). We love our time with her and to see who can get her to smile and talk. She is sweet and usually very good-natured. 

Trust

I have briefly mentioned that since Noelle is here, I have much more joy - and more fear. 
I think I need to "get real" here and expand on my faith vs. fear battle since her arrival. 

It's hard. And it can truly be exhausting, physically and mentally. In many ways, I feel like a new parent. So many fears. Except... I am not like a new parent. Because a new parent still has the luxury of innocence. They are not sure what to expect.When I put McKinley down for a nap, I expected her to be alive when I checked on her. And she was. So was Ireland and Kezia. Link was not, and that has forever changed me as a person and as a mother. So, again, while I don't expect Noelle to die... I don't expect her not to, either. It's always in the back of my mind. It's hard to find peace. I try to sleep when she sleeps during the day (when I can), but it's hard to let myself relax. Losing a loved one, especially a child that you were supposed to be in charge of, and especially from SIDS where they don't know WHY it happened, does funny things to your brain. You make illogical correlations and irrational assumptions. I hear her make noises when she sleeps and I think "Good. okay. I know she's alive." And then, I think "but what if Link made little noises like that, too, right before he died? What if he struggled? What if that means she is going to die if I don't check on her?" So, I do. I check on her. Again and again. Is her color okay? Can I see her chest rising and falling? Is the blanket anywhere near her face? Is she strapped in? 

I tell myself to not freak out. I tell myself she's not going to die. I tell myself "I have to trust that it's going to be okay this time because she's sleeping in our room or close by me all the time. I have to trust that the Snuza will go off if she stops breathing. I have to trust that she is strapped in so she can't roll over." 

But at the end of the day, these things are not enough to put my trust in. I know that I could have her in my arms all the time, I could have the Snuza on her 24/7, etc, etc, etc... and she could still die. 

19 And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted." 2 Nephi 4:19

I realize that I cannot put my trust in myself, or the Snuza, or strapping her in... or anything. It doesn't mean that I will stop doing these things, but it does mean that I acknowledge that I can't put my trust there.  I need to put my trust in the Lord.  And that's HARD, because when Link died, I felt like my trust was betrayed. I trusted Him, and He took my baby away. Over the past year or so, I've struggled with that, and I do not by any means have a perfect faith now, but I do realize that trusting the Lord doesn't mean that my life will be easy, that we will always have money, or that those I love won't die. It simply means that I trust Him to direct my life. I trust Him that whatever happens will be for my ultimate good. My ultimate growth. My bigger-picture-plan. 

We read the story of Jesus walking on water the other night:

³⁰ But when he saw the wind, he was afraid; and beginning to sink, he cried out, saying, Lord, save me.

³¹ And immediately Jesus stretched forth his hand, and took hold of him, and saith unto him, O thou of little faith, wherefore didst thou doubt?

And I realized that I am much like Peter in this story. When the winds of doubt and fear come into my mind and get overtaken with thoughts of "what if," I start panicking. Drowning. But I know when that happens, I need to redirect my sight (trust) to the Lord. If I keep my gaze on Him, I won't sink. I will be able to ignore the storm swirling around me and instead enjoy the miracle of walking on the water - i.e. being in the moment with my loved ones and just enjoying the seconds, minutes, hours, and days that I get to spend with them. 

Noelle's 2 week Photoshoot!

I already posted these on FB, but there are some people who don't do FB, so I thought I'd post them here, too. We had these done when Noelle was 2 weeks old. She - like all my other babies - didn't cooperate so well with pictures. They've never just slept through the whole thing and let the photographer position them at will. Nope. They are wide awake and fussy and they don't understand what's going on. We had maybe 5 minutes where she slept (and we did get a few cute ones in), but most of the time she was awake & fussy. Oh well! We still got some sweet ones. :-) I always meant to get professional pictures of Link, but with the whole hospital fiasco and everything, I never did. And it always breaks my heart... so I'm so thankful for these pictures of our sunrise baby. We love her SO much!!

https://picasaweb.google.com/103753336633055957263/Noelle2WeekPhotoshoot

Share Walk

Whew! There has been so much going on lately - so many things at the girls' school, life with a newborn, Mother's Day, and our 14th Anniversary. But I definitely wanted to talk about the Share Walk of Remembrance & Hope that was held yesterday.

I don't think I've written a whole lot on this blog about our local Share group. In the hospital, we were not given any information on grieving - no pamphlets, no support. But the local Share group came and brought a big bag full of sweet gifts for myself and the girls - as well as information on the local support group they have for pregnancy/infant loss.

I went to that first meeting when I was only a couple weeks out from Link's death. It was hard, but so freeing to talk to these ladies that I knew understood the pain and agony I was in. I haven't gone to every support or service meeting, but I've made it to many & I truly feel a special bond with these ladies. They are AMAZING. Many of them have endured multiple losses. Many of them drop everything they are doing at a call from the hospital to go hold the hand of a stranger who has lost a baby and cry with them and tell them "I understand." That is something every bereaved parent needs to hear. Or they go to the hospital and take pictures of these tiny angels who are no longer breathing. Those last pictures mean so much.

Yesterday, we had a walk to remember our precious babies, and to bring awareness to this group, so they can have the financial support and support from our medical community to help those who have lost.

I am so thankful for my sister with 3 of her kids and my parents who drove all the way from Salt Lake to support us, as well as Jason's parents from Richfield and his brother's family from St.George. Also, our amazing friends, the Bealers come to support us. I made a poster to put alongside the other sweet posters telling about our babies. I also put a transfer onto the shirts with Link's picture. At the park, there was a beautiful prayer said. A touching poem read. A sweet song sung. An amazing balloon release. The walk was beautiful and wonderful and seeing not only my family with Link's name on their shirts and in their hears, but probably 250 more people with names on their shirts and in their hearts, all saying YOU WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN!

It was a beautiful thing.

If you couldn't come & want to donate, you can do so @ http://www.southernutahshare.com/ Thanks again for all who support this wonderful group!

Had to make sure Noelle had a shirt, too 

My parents

Kezi

The transfer of Link I put on all our shirts

Camri & Canyon

I love to see the cousins from both sides hang out together :) 

Heading for the walk

Link's poster

Love every person! 

April Newsletter & Slideshow

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FAMILY:  April was very busy and wonderful. After some unfortunate car trouble (Cindy’s tire blew on the freeway), the Edwards were able to come to visit us from April 1 – 6^th. We had fun – the kids played together, Cindy helped Heidi make 26 freezer meals (yay!), Cindy made Heidi a nursing blanket, playing at the park, going to McDonald’s, having a “tea party”, going for a walk on the East Canyon Park trail, going to the movies – we saw Nut Job, and Jason took the kids swimming while Cindy and Heidi went out to eat at the Pastry Pub. Also – on the 3^rd – the girls all got their hair chopped! They went to the salon & Kylee Low cut all their hair, at least 12 inches! On the 5^th & 6^th, the kids had fun being creative while we watched general conference. Grandma Potts & GG Tew came on Sunday and watched the second session with us and we even saved them some homemade sweet rolls J Tuesday, April 8^th, was a big day for our family – we welcomed the newest member! Noelle Eve Hamilton made her entrance at 10:50am. For more information on Noelle, see her section. We have all been so thankful and excited to have her here!! She had to stay an extra day to be under the billi lights for jaundice, but we got to come home on the 10^th and after all we went through with Link, it was so nice to just take her home. We’ve had so many friends, ward members & neighbors bring meals and gifts for Noelle. She has quite the wardrobe of new clothes & blankets! They are each so special & we are so thankful for everyone’s generosity. Grandma Potts stayed for almost 2 weeks to help out – thanks grandma!!! Also, Grandma Devenish, Aunt Kim, & the Hamiltons all made a trip to meet the newest member of the family. The Bensons arrived on the evening of the 10^th & had fun meeting Noelle. Other fun activities with the Bensons included eating Grandma Potts’ cotton candy, going to the St. George Children’s Museum and splash park, going to McDonalds, going on a hike, painting, and having a movie night. Our girls’ spring break was from the 16-18^th and we mostly relaxed at home, enjoying Noelle. We did work out in the yard a bit, though, and Jason & the older girls met the Bealers at the park and they played, flew kites & had a picnic. Easter was the 20^th of April this year and even though mom stayed home with Noelle, we still took pictures of our family in our new dresses and after church, we headed to the cemetery to visit Link’s bench. Overall, we have loved the warmer weather – watching the flowers come up and the trees get their leaves. And we have all loved getting to see so many loved ones who have come to celebrate our new arrival!

JASON: Jason was able to take some time off this month to enjoy visits from both sides of the family & the Bensons. He enjoyed hiking with McKinley & Ireland and exploring the Spring Canyon area. Jason stayed in the hospital the first night after Noelle was born and was so good to help out. He is such a great hands-on daddy – holding, burping, and changing diapers – even when Noelle pees all over him J He has been good to take the girls to church by himself as well and the girls love to help him get dressed – picking out his shirt and his cologne. Jason had some bad news at the end of the month – one of his coworker’s son died. We are so heartbroken for their family and have been praying every day for them.

 HEIDI: Heidi is so thankful that her baby girl is out of her belly & in her arms! It’s SO nice to be able to breathe & sleep (at least somewhat) again J At the beginning of the month, Heidi went to Walmart & it was a very windy day. She opened her van door and the wind blasted it open – right into the door of the car next to her, leaving a big dent L She left a note and it turned out it was the car of a family in the ward. We are working with them on taking care of the damage. Another big bummer this month was that Heidi dropped her phone & it’s all cracked now L  Heidi was so very thankful that she was dilated enough to set an induction date! She was so thankful to hold Noelle for the first time and hear her cries. She now knows many, many women who did not hear their baby’s cries when they were born. Having a new baby obviously brings sleep deprivation, and there is most definitely an added anxiety with worrying about losing Noelle. Heidi checks on her many MANY more times than she ever did her other babies – checking her color, checking her breathing, but she has brought so much joy as well. It is so healing to have another baby to hold and feed and love.  She was also thankful that labor was pretty fast and her epidural was good J

McKINLEY:

-McKinley came home with a flyer to try out for the new children’s musical theater production – Suessical. She practiced so hard! She did really well & made call-backs & earned a place in the musical as Pearl Noodled Finch as a singing part. WAY TO GO McKINLEY! We’re so proud of you! Rehearsals are over the summer with the play at the end of August. We know she is going to do great & hope it’s a wonderful experience for her. She already has a friend that is in her cast – Emma Beacham.

-When her cousins were here & we were going to go pick something up, McKinley didn’t want to go & begged to stay behind. She said “Please let me & Michael stay home! We’re older… and he knows karate!”

-McKinley’s class went on SEVEN field trips in April! Some of the places included to SUU to celebrate Shakespeare’s birthday and to Snow Canyon for a long hike!

-One morning for breakfast, McKinley had written everyone sweet notes and put them in their places. She also drew a picture of our whole family (including Link & Tundra) and cut it up into a puzzle for us to put together J

-For activity days, McKinley did quilts and the activity days girls surprised her and us by giving us one of the quilts for Noelle!

-McKinley is so excited to have her sister here. She is a very big helper with Noelle and is good to hold her, bring her to us,  get her binki, and burp her.

IRELAND:

-Ireland has once again resumed the role of “baby obsesser.” First thing in the morning & after she gets home from school, she has to know where Noelle is. We are constantly telling her to give Noelle some space – especially when she’s sleeping. She is a helper, too, though and is good about getting things we need for her as well as singing to her, talking to her, and just being with her. She also loves (like she did with Link) to take her little hand and rub in down her face. She was a bit worried when we had to stay an extra day at the hospital for her jaundice. Mom assured her we’d be home the next day, but Ireland still remembered Link and said “how do you know? How you do know you will be home tomorrow?”

-We love listening to Mindy Gledhill and one of our favorite songs of hers is “Hourglass.” The song says “Oh..Life’s an hourglass.” Mom heard Ireland singing it the other day & she was singing “Oh… Life’s an outer blast.” J

-Ireland was arguing with her sister & was complaining to mom. She said “But she used a violent voice!”

-Ireland was excited she got to have Joshua AND Sienna come stay with us for a while. So much fun!

KEZIA:

-Kezia is excited about her baby sister, too, although she’s not quite as infatuated as Ireland or McKinley. She does love her baby sister, though, and enjoys our mornings together.

-Kezi LOVED having Grandma Potts here for so long. She definitely would have kept her here if it was up to her.

-Mom took the girls to the park one day and in the car she said “Mom – you get a super mom card” – she gets “super-kid” cards at preschool, so mom was pretty happy to get a “super-mom” card J

-Kezia seems to have gotten her sister’s ability for creativity. She decided to put on a treasure hunt one day. Mom was going to go on her treasure hunt, but Kezi stopped her, saying “there are no pajamas allowed on my treasure hunt.    Period.”

-Mom complained about something daddy did and said “naughty daddy.” Kezia said “yeah… you should pick a new husband.”

-For some reason, Kezia is VERY against saying the word cute. Do not call her hair cut, or her picture, or her clothes “cute.” She gets really upset. She thinks cute is only for babies and she wants you to say “beautiful.”

-She also has banned us calling her anything but KeziA. Not Kezi. Not Kez. Only K-E-Z-I-A. It takes a lot of getting used to because we are all so used to shortening her name.

-Kezia’s favorite scripture story is Jonah and the whale. She knows that we can’t ever hide from God. She says “Jesus can see you every day – even in a barrel!”

-Kezia wanted to do something that wasn’t okay & mom said “I’m not letting you because I’m the mom.” So Kezia replied “Well, then you have to be the dad.”

-Kezia still LOVES the movie Frozen and loves to take mom’s phone and record herself singing “Let it Go.”

LINK:

We know Link was there as we welcomed Noelle into the world. Jason gave Heidi a special blessing the evening before Noelle’s birth and we both felt like Link was close and watching over his sister. To the hospital we brought 2 pictures of Link & Heidi wore her “Link earrings” and her Link bracelet. The day we brought Noelle home, there seemed to be more rainbows that usual in our home – on almost all the walls in the living room. Jason & Heidi both felt like Link was overjoyed to have his sister here. Heidi brought Noelle to her brother’s bench a couple days after Noelle’s birth and talked to him and thanked him and reassured him that he will never be forgotten or replaced. Noelle does seem to focus a lot on Link’s pictures in our home. We pray they will have a strong bond.

NOELLE:

Welcome to the world – and welcome to our family Noelle! Heidi did a whole blog post about Noelle’s birth, but the short version is that Heidi chose to be induced on April 8^th because we already have birthdays on the 5, 6, 7 & 9^th, so Noelle fills that gap J Our appointment was for 4am and she was here by 10:50. At the end, there were some scary moments with her heart decelerations and different things, but she got here safe, sound & healthy. She had to stay an extra day for jaundice. She didn’t like the billi bed too much, so we’re glad she only had to do that for one day. We were so thankful to get here home!! Grandma & her sisters had made a welcome home sign as well as making a “sunrise/rainbow” cake and some beautiful, colorful flowers. She is sure a loud baby at night with all her grunts, squeaks, hiccups, coughs, etc. Her mommy checks on her a Lot. Noelle is more of a spit-up baby than any of the other kids & we are going through a LOT of burp cloths and clothes. Good thing she was given so many new clothes! Noelle really has some frog legs and can fully put her feet flat on her diaper. She also seems to be infatuated with her hands and is constantly putting them on her face, only to get a surprised look like someone did it to her. We were a bit worried when Noelle hadn’t had a BM for a day or so once we got home from the hospital, but the next day she started and hasn’t stopped! One time when daddy was changing her diaper, she peed ALL over his shirt & pants! When Noelle was 2 weeks old, we went over to Jessica Dupass’ home for Noelle’s photoshoot. Like her siblings, she wasn’t very cooperative. She was awake and pretty fussy most of the time, although we did get about 5 minutes where she slept and we snapped as many pictures as possible. Noelle’s sisters love her VERY much and can’t wait to show her off to all their family & friends. Noelle still struggles with keeping up with Heidi’s milk supply, but hopefully soon we’ll get that down J Even after almost a month, she still has quite the head of dark hair. It is beautiful! She definitely has more hair than any of her siblings had. For now, she sleeps in the little vibrator chair – swaddled, but strapped in & with the Snuza monitor on her. One night it went off a few times (we think it was the way she was strapped in), but it definitely scared us! We are thankful for the monitor, though. Noelle loves to lay on a blanket in the living room and stare at the light coming in to the windows. Overall, she is a very sweet, cute baby and we are SO VERY thankful to have her in our family!

Noelle Eve Hamilton

Preparing for Noelle to come was interesting for me. Physically, I'm sure I was ready to be done with this pregnancy two months ago, but preparing for her emotionally took quite a bit longer. I actually started therapy about 6 weeks before she was born. I wanted to work through some anxieties & fears I had about her coming before she got here. It was a lot of hard work. And having it all around the time of Link's angelversary added to the emotional drain, but as we neared Noelle's birth day, I felt more peace and excitement and less fear and doubt.

All my girls were overdue - Link was a week early because my water broke - so I was surprised that I was actually dilated to a 2+ at 38 weeks and a 3 at 39 weeks, so we were able to set an induction date. In our family we have birthdays on the 5th, 6th, 7th, and 9th, so I thought it would be neat to see if we could have her on the 8th if she didn't come by then. Well, she didn't come by then :) I had pretty strong and painful contractions, but they were never regular, so the 8th it was!

4 am was the induction time. Honestly, it could have been anytime in the night because I didn't get more than an hour of sleep. I was emotional, excited, grateful. Jason gave me a beautiful blessing and I was truly looking forward to meeting our new baby girl. We got up about 3:15, prayed, ate, gathered our few last-minute things, took some pics and off we went to the hospital. I made sure to bring my pictures of Link & the girls, as well as wear my Link bracelet & earrings. Thanks to mom who stayed with the girls in the morning & got them off to school! 

Once we got there & situated, they checked me (I was a 4) and started the pitocin about 5am. My deal with this pregnancy was that if I went into labor completely on my own, I would try & go natural, but if my water was broken or I had to get pitocin, bring on the epidural. I had the same anesthesiologist as I had with Link for my epidural & it was, once again, fabulous. I could move my legs, but had no pain. Which was, again, a very good thing for all they had to do at the end. At about 8:30 or so, my midwife came in and broke my water & stripped my membranes. After that the contractions were coming faster. Her heartrate decelerated when the contractions came, so I turned on my side for a while & my other side for another while. At about 10am  the nurse checked me and I was at an 8. Yay! But the heartrate was decelerating even more with every contraction - into the 60s & 70s. I really got worried when I'd hear her regular little galloping heartbeat & then the contractions would come and it would really slow down to sound like an adult heartbeat. My midwife came & decided that I needed to have that baby right away. Also - they had seen some meconium leaking & wanted to get her here. Well, apparently (like Link) she was posterior and took some convincing to turn. So I pushed on my back, then on my side, while Jason was trying to push my tummy to one side as I pushed her out. Everything was just kind of crazy for a bit. They called Dr. Polson - our peditrician - and he came running. The heartrate still seemed way too slow. And in between pushes, I looked up at the ceiling, the bright lights, and I prayed. I pleaded that Link would be there to get his baby sister here safely. I pleaded she would be okay and these medical professionals would know what to do. After she had turned, I was able to push her out (10:50 am), and I watched as my midwife untangled her from her cord. It was around her neck, under her arm, and around her leg. Scary. But she was finally, finally  here. And she was okay. And I was SO grateful. 

They placed her little purple body on my chest and I cried as I held her. I knew Link had been there, and somehow I felt his pure joy that his sister was here. He had done his job - he had watched over her and brought her safely into mortality. She must not have been that happy about it, though, because she screamed & screamed! For a good half hour to an hour, that baby girl let us know that she wasn't so happy about being here :-) It didn't bother me, though, because just hearing her cries was such a blessing. They let me hold her for quite a while & didn't take her from me until I wanted to see how much she weighed. 7 lbs 13 oz. 20 inches long. And the hair! Both Jason & I had had dreams of this little one and in both of them, she had a lot of dark hair, so it made me smile to see her exactly as we had pictured her. She was definitely the spirit we had been waiting for.

The girls came to see their baby sister at the hospital after school and were so very excited to finally meet Noelle. The first thing McKinley said was "I get to hold her without all the wires?"  I smiled a sad smile when she said that. Their experience with their brother was so different. I was thankful that they were able to hold her without the wires. She had to stay an extra day to be under the lights for jaundice, and Ireland really wasn't happy about that. Even though we assured her that jaundice is common & she would be able to come home the next day, she said "how do you know? How do you know you'll be able to come home?" Oh - the lingering fears. She's known another reality and surely hasn't forgotten it. Thankfully we were able to come home the next day (April 10th). I carried her carseat out and the nurse commented on how fast I was walking for someone who just gave birth. I smiled, but in my mind I was thinking of a year and a half ago, when it took almost 2 months to be able to do what I was doing - walk out of the hospital with my baby in their carseat - and I was going to get out of there as fast as I could before someone could stop me! :)

Noelle is 6 days old now. She is so so precious. I am cherishing this time with her - nursing her, watching her sleepy smiles, loving how she already seems so intent to focus on you or the fan or the light coming in through the windows. Since she came so fast, she had a lot of fluid still in her that took a good 3 days for her to cough up. We're glad she's done with that & seems to be eating, sleeping and pooping well :)

As for my anxieties, they are there. I still check on her a lot in the night and during the day - even more than I did with McKinley - and even though I have the Snuza monitor on her. I am intent to make sure she is breathing. Watching her chest rise and fall is what soothes my heart. 

A day or two ago, I took Noelle to her brother's grave. I told her about her wonderful, beautiful, brave brother. And I cried. I talked to Link, too. Thanked him for watching over his baby sister - and asking him to continue to do so. I cried as I told him how thankful I am for her - and how much I still love and miss him. I told him that he will never, ever be forgotten. And of how I am going to close my eyes when I kiss Noelle's sweet cheek and pretend I'm kissing both of them. I truly hope they will share a bond in this life and that she will teach me even more about him and his mission here. 

Overall, I am surprised at just how much joy she has brought me & our family. And, like I said, I have felt very strongly that Link is overjoyed she is here as well. I know it's strange, but I swear every picture I see him in lately, he seems to be smiling bigger & brighter. No - her entrance does not take away the pain and the dark night of grief - but having a baby to hold, to nurse, to kiss, to smell, to memorize... it helps. It heals.  The name "Noelle" (Noel) means "birthday of our Lord." We believe that Jesus was actually born in the spring - in April - so this fit perfectly (and starts with an "N," so now we have names that start with H, I, J, K, L, M & N) :) and just as the Savior's birth brought so much healing and hope, Noelle's birth has also brought that for our family. She is most undoubtedly my sunrise baby. Heard this song (can you tell that songs are one way the Spirit speaks directly to my soul?) the other day & it is PERFECT. My favorite line is "You alone can resurrect this heart of mine." Of course that line & this song is about the Savior - and He above all can heal me - and His gift of this sweet new soul is also part of that hope. That promise of love and light. With Easter this week, I am finding more hope, healing, and love than I have in quite a while. 

March Newsletter & Slideshow

https://picasaweb.google.com/103753336633055957263/2014_03_Slideshow

FAMILY:  March was a difficult month to face as we remembered our baby boy’s death. It was still full of tender mercies and wonderful family times, though. Aunt Cindy sent us a Flat Stanley at the beginning of the month & the girls had fun introducing him to the bunny, going on the slide with him, riding their scooters, etc. The 6^th was Heidi’s birthday & Jason & the girls were so sweet– read her section for more details. We headed to St. George on the 8^th to go to the temple. It was neat and the girls had fun playing with their cousins, along with Jason’s cousin’s girls, Sloan and Piper. Our sweet neighbor, Lori Blackner, is moving this month and she has been so great to give us toys she no longer needs – LOTS of barbies, paper dolls, a pretend fridge and sink, and lots of baby stuff. It’s been like Christmas around here with all the new toys! They are also very special because they were her daughter’s toys & she died 17 years ago from cancer.  Ireland & McKinley worked with their dad this month on science fair projects – see their sections for all the fun things they did. On the 16^th after church we headed to the park & brought Sydney & Rainbow Truck. It was such a nice day & they all had fun running around and playing.  The 17^th was St. Patrick’s Day & the girls had fun trying to go around pinching everyone. They made sure they wore their green – and even dressed Sydney in green so she wouldn’t get pinched – and we had Lucky Charms for breakfast, green sandwiches for lunch, and green eggs and ham for dinner! The 18^th was Ireland’s 1^st grade Little Engine that Could play & we all came to support her. It was so cute. The 19^th was the McKinley & Ireland’s last day of dance club on Wednesday afternoons after school. They have had fun! Grandma Potts came on the 25^th and stayed until the 30^th. She was so great to help with the girls, the house, and getting ready for Noelle. She & the girls had fun going to North Elementary to see their science fair projects,  playing guitar, doing the Easy Bake Oven, having a tea party, making cards and name links for Link’s angelversary, having lunch with Heidi, going to the park, having a chocolate treasure hunt, helping McKinley sew a hotpad, and going with McKinley & Heidi to Women’s Conference. We all loved having her here & looking forward to her return when Noelle comes. She also brought with her our nativity set from Jerusalem (YAY!!!), and 2 beautiful hand-made blankets for Noelle – one from GG Tew & one from Aunt Cindy. Mom also bought the movie Frozen this month and it has been watched at least a half-dozen times. The girls LOVE it!

JASON: Jason continues to be our handyman & save us lots of money – at the beginning of the month, he changed the brake pads on both vehicles. Jason enjoyed helping the girls come up with ideas for their science projects. He spent a lot of time on youtube looking up neat possibilities, buying things for their projects, and then experimenting and taking videos and pictures. He also enjoyed going to the science fair & seeing all the neat projects. He still likes to stay up late, learning about astrological happenings and economic and world changes. Jason had a business trip this month where he went to Ogden for a week. He said it went well & he enjoyed learning a lot and re-connecting with budget people in the region. He took the day off for Link’s angelversary and enjoyed doing temple work – especially sealings for our ancestors. He bought Link a shiny new matchbox car and placed it on the track at his grave. On the 30^th, Jason was in charge of a caving expedition with his scouts. They went to Bloomington cave, near St. George, and had a great time. In other big news, he finally cut his hair!! J

 HEIDI:  March was Heidi’s last full month of pregnancy & she is VERY thankful for that. Fatigue, along with soreness and carpal tunnel have been making it harder & harder to get basic things done. She is SO excited to get this baby girl out of her tummy and into her arms! She has been trying to cherish Noelle’s movements, though, and her regular hiccup episodes J There have been so many kind gifts given for Noelle – homemade blankets and onesies and clothing. It’s been so sweet. The 6^th was Heidi’s 35^th birthday. The family was so sweet and spoiled her – she got breakfast in bed with her favorite cereal – Golden Grahams. Jason worked from home that day and was extra sweet. When the girls got home, McKinley proceeded to get out things for mom’s at-home spa (Jason had made a special shopping trip the day before). She turned on relaxing music, put a facial mask on mom, cucumbers on her eyes, massages for her hands and feet (Ireland & Kezia helped with the messages), a foot soak, a yogurt parfait, and painting mom’s hands and feet. She got the idea of the spa from a Fancy Nancy book and it was as wonderful as could be J That evening, we had a sitter over while Heidi & Jason got to go to a nice restaurant – The Depot Grill. She also had a couple friends stop by with sweets and gifts. It was a wonderful birthday, even with the heartbreak of wanting Link here, too. Link’s angelversary was hard and sweet at the same time. She enjoyed the time at the temple and was humbled by the outpouring of love & support from family and friends that day – including flowers from the Keate & Corrys and a book from the Ekker & Cospers. She was so thankful that her mom was here and the end of the month to help with the girls and especially be there on the hardest day – the day that we put Link’s clothes into storage (see the blog for more details). That day was VERY difficult & she was thankful for the help of her mom & McKinley. Heidi was touched when the primary called her into the room and all the activity day girls were standing in the front with a handmade quilt. It was presented to her and was so very thoughtful! Most of the rest of any spare time in March was spent doing video transfers. She’s transferred over 100 videos! She was also excited for finally get her blogs printed into books! Yay!

McKINLEY:

-It was parent-teacher conferences this month & again McKinley’s teacher, Mrs. Hardin, had nothing but great things to say about McKinley – what a great student, friend, and leader she is. She has done so well on all her tests and is also a great helper. GREAT JOB McKINLEY!

-McKinley’s science fair project had to do with static electricity. With wool socks on, and dad’s wool boot liners, after she walked around on the carpet for a while, she was able to touch the wire of an LED lightbulb and make it light up! She had fun learning about protons, neutrons, electrons and atoms. Her project looked great and she was a finalist in her fair! AWESOME McKINLEY!

-McKinley has some math goals at school that she can work on in her spare time. She passed off addition earlier & this month she passed off subtraction and now she’s on to multiplication. YAY!

-McKinley has been wanting to come up with a dance routine, so she videotaped herself signing and doing actions to “Call Me Maybe.” It’s so cute. She also worked on memorizing “Beautiful for me” and has performed it for Grandma Potts and the Edwards.  

-Other McKinley creativity this month includes giving mom a full at-home spa treatment on her birthday, doing a VeggieTales puppet show, drawing different kinds of “girls” (butterfly girl, math girl, heart girl, etc) and writing sweet cards for her family.

-Grandma helped McKinley sew her first hotpad on her sewing machine! – thanks Grandma!

-We watched Link’s slideshow at the end of the day of his angelversary and at the end, McKinley had buried her face into her Link Bear and was crying. Mom held her close & they sobbed together. She really was missing her baby brother that day L We are so thankful that Link has McKinley for a sister – she is so sweet and loving and caring.

-Mom and dad had an interview with McKinley this month. Mom started out by asking her some questions & McKinley said “Mom – you’re being all parent-y”

-At the end of the month, McKinley got to do something really special! For the first time, they allowed all women and girls ages 8 and up to attend Women’s conference, so McKinley got to go with mom and grandma & it was a sweet experience. The talks, songs, and videos were so inspiring and we got to Hermie’s afterwards for fries and mozzarella sticks – yum!

IRELAND:

-Ireland finished all the books on her book in a bag list & got a gift certificate for a smoothie, so mom took her and Ireland over to Tropical Smoothie one day and got a yummy smoothie – way to go Ireland!

-Ireland’s parent-teacher conference went well this month. Mrs. Comstock says she is very creative, kind, and smart! She is one of the best readers in her class. We just need to work a little more on math!

-Mom went to her school a few times this past month & she had some fun things on the wall. One was a poster that said who her hero was. She wrote “my cousins.” And the other paper said she was lucky because… “I know how to count to ten. I have my teacher. I am cool. I can read” J

-For FHE, we were talking about the different ordinances we obtain and how they help us (and our dead by proxy in the temple) be together with our Heavenly Father again. Mom said “First comes baptism. What comes next?” Ireland piped up “then comes marriage. Then comes the baby in the baby carriage!”

- Ireland had a sore throat at the beginning of the month & mom found out it was strep with an at-home test. At the doctor’s, she had the choice for a single shot or 10 days of antibiotics. She chose the antibiotics (which she complained about for the next 10 days). Glad we’re done with that! Poor Ireland had to miss a fun field trip L the doctor told us to keep track of her strep to make sure she won’t need her tonsils out.

-Ireland’s science project was fun – it was an experiment using a vase, balloons, baking soda, and vinegar. When the baking soda was poured into the vinegar, it would react and fill the balloon with carbon dioxide. It was fun to watch and use different amounts of ingredients to see how big the balloons would get. Her project turned out really great!

-Ireland made a sweet surprise for mom – she took 15 pieces of paper, folded each one in half, and made a heart. She gave all 15 hearts to mom!

-Ireland has had a hard time finding friend to play with lately L Her good friend Isabella moved away, and she doesn’t have the numbers of most of her school friends L

-Ireland was SO CUTE in her Little Engine that Could 1^st grade play. She was part of the Little Blue Train – the hero train! And we loved to hear her little song “I think I can, I think I can… I try, try, try cuz I think I can!” It was so fun!

-Ireland had a very hard night one night when she made a bad choice with grandma’s ipad and couldn’t have ice cream with the rest of the family. She REALLY threw a fit and was screaming and hitting and kicking and yelling very mean things at mom & dad. It was a sad night to see her struggle, but thankfully by bedtime, she had calmed down and was okay.

KEZIA –

-It was Kezia’s lunch date this month and she got to go to IHOP with dad on a Saturday morning. How fun!

-Kezia is rocking her sight words! Her preschool teacher gave her a bunch of printed cards with sight words and she has about 80% memorized. Also – we use the MySightWords app to learn words and she’s up to about 50 words. Yay Kezia!

-Mom must have looked very tired because one morning, Kezia patted mom on the arm & said “mom, I think you should rest while I’m at preschool.”

-Noelle was moving around during sacrament meeting one day & mom put Kezia’s hand on her tummy. Kezia said in a rather loud voice “I think that’s probably her bum, mom!”

-Kezia asked mom one day “how many o’clocks is it?”

-One of the things Kezia has been saying a lot lately is “What the what!?”

-For some reason, Kezia is obsessed lately with making cards and putting them in envelopes to mail to people. She will make 3-5 a day for people – friends, church people, etc – and give them to mom to send in the mail. Tiarra and Aunt Keeley were both sick this past month & Kezia immediately went & drew them a get well picture. Thankfully, she let mom just take a picture & text it to them without having to mail it J Kezi is getting really good at sounding out words and writing them. Mom & dad can usually tell what she has written!

-In the store one day, Kezia made a sad choice and ate some lettuce from the produce department, so mom had to end up buying it. Mom said she was disappointed in Kezia, but Kezia was mad right back and said “if you keep saying that, I will take away your hearts” (she often says I love you infinity hearts)

-We were heading out the door one day & mom asked her to get her coat on, reminding her it was on the floor. Kezia said “Indeed it is.”

-one day as we were driving, Kezia said “We shouldn’t do this – huh, mom?” Mom looked back to see her sticking up her middle finger. She kept doing it and asking mom & mom kept saying “yes, that is not a nice thing to do.” Kezia said “yeah… it makes Jesus feel bad.”

-Kezia has been planning out her birthday for 2 months (or more). Her birthday isn’t till October, but she knows she wants a Frozen cake with Anna and Elsa rings on it, an Olaf piñata, an Elsa dress, pink and purple hats, balloons that say happy birthday with silly faces on them, and she already knows who she is inviting. Quite the planner!!

-Speaking of birthdays, Kezi LOVES birthday parties. She takes the church program to mom on Sunday in sacrament meeting, points at the list of birthdays and says “who’s birthday party can we go to?”

-In ward conference, we were sustaining church leaders and he said “D. Todd Christofferson.” Kezi, looked at mom with wide eyes and said excitedely “mom – he said Kristoff!” (from the movie Frozen)

-Kezi also likes to draw pictures of Super Mario or My Little Pony, and tape them above and around the beds.

-Mom realized just how much Kezi gets a hold of her phone at the end of the month and she is downloading pictures & videos and there are QUITE a few self pictures & videos of miss Kezia.

LINK:

Link must have known how hard this month would be on us and he sent us so many beautiful sunrises, sunsets and rainbows. We even saw a little rainbow on the mortuary building where he had been – and Trisha caught a rainbow on his angelversary. Mom was also allowed to have a beautiful dream where she got to hold him and tell him how very much she loved him and he gazed back at her with so very much love. It was wonderful. Another sweet love note was Heidi’s SIDS mom friend had a dream the night before his angelversary about Link, her son Wilhelm, and another SIDS mom’s son, Charlie, all sitting on a rainbow quilt, playing, drooling, and baby talking together. It was SUCH a sweet, tender mercy to learn of her dream. This month, they finally published Link’s story in the Dixie Regional Medical Center’s newsletter. It got 335 “likes,” 63 “shares” & 43 sweet comments. It was great to feel like Link’s story touched others’ lives and made them want to also do something for someone else. For Link’s angelversary, Jason & Heidi went to the temple in the morning (after seeing a beautiful sunrise) & were able to do an endowment session and 11 sealings! It was a wonderful experience and we both felt like Link was close. That afternoon, amidst the snow, we brought homemade cards to his bench and let go of balloons. Afterwards we watched his funeral slideshow and held our Link Bears. Later, we brought almost THIRTY family names, linked together in a chain, to decorate his bench with, including names of friends who had done family names in Link’s honor. It was so neat to see all those sweet names on his bench and feel his spirit and know we are helping him in the work. Also, Jason’s cousin, Shannon Richardson, has a baby boy who’s birthday is on the same day as we buried Link and in leiu of gifts every year for Connor’s birthday, she is asking for donations for the Ronald McDonald House in Link’s name. She was able to raise $180 this year – THANKS SO MUCH Shannon! Going through Link’s clothes this month and boxing them up to make way for Noelle’s was a heart-wrenching experience. So many sweet memories with those clothes & it made us miss our baby boy SO much! We can’t believe it’s been a whole year – and at the same time, it’s a whole year closer to being with him again. We are praying for his help this next month in watching over and helping his new baby sister enter this world. WE LOVE YOU LINK!!!