Return with Honor

My Dear Link-

Oh my beloved son. I am thankful you can know exactly what is in my heart without using words, because there are many, many times that this mortal language limits my expression.  For example, the words “I miss you” are completely inadequate. No number of accompanying adjectives could express the ache I have for you.

Only a few months after you left this earth, I was at church and the lesson was on missionary work. Mother after mother stood up and read letters from their missionaries. My heart was grieved afresh as I knew that I would not have the opportunity to read similar letters from you. I always dreamt of having a  son serve a mission and be able to share that same pride and delight as those mothers – reading your letters and learning of your growth and testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. And my heart was crushed as the reality set in that I would not send my son on a mission.   And then, clearly and surely, words came to my mind. They were “YOU ALREADY HAVE A SON ON A MISSION” and acknowledging the reality of that statement almost took my breath away. Tears came to my eyes as my heart witnessed the truth of what my mind had just understood.  It didn’t take away all the hurt, but it certainly helped me as I realized that I, too, could stand up with those mothers and talk about my son on a mission.

Link, I know you have been busy these past two years. You have helped to bring your Grandmother to the temple and get her sealed to her parents and spouse. You have been the source of much work in our family to do genealogy work and help “Link” families together. You have given your sisters a strong testimony of the plan of salvation, family history, and missionary work. They love to share your story and remember you. You helped bring your sister to mortality and we know that you two share a special, eternal bond.  You also have worked on your Grandma Tew’s side of the family and we were surprised and overjoyed to learn of your 2^nd cousin getting to serve in Thailand. We know you are assisting him as well.  Your dad and I talk about what you look like as a missionary. We wonder who your companions are – Grandpa Tew?  Uncle Bart? What are your “zones”? Does Jesus head up your mission conferences? Most importantly, we wonder how we can help you. We wonder if we’re doing enough with making sure our own family is “Linked” together tightly, and if we are making enough progress with finding names. We seek your help, Link, with lines of our family where we seem to be “stuck” – especially your dad’s dad’s line and my dad’s line. We ask for and expect help and miracles as we seek for these names and try to learn more about our ancestors.

Now, I can’t say that I have always been a supportive “missionary mom.” I try, but I have to admit that there are moments when I truly wish I was a regular missionary mom. After two years, they get to welcome their sons home with hugs and kisses. I admit that my temporal mind reaches up to the heavens and wonders “Isn’t two years enough?” “Hasn’t he done enough good for you?” “Can’t I please have him back now?”    No… your mission papers do not have a return date on them and many days, it’s hard for my heart to accept. But there are moments of clarity and perspective, moments when I turn my eyes toward the heavens and my heart is filled with pride at all you are doing and knowledge that it has to be this way – that you cannot do what you need to do from this side of the veil. And in those moments when I am looking up, instead of awash in my dark sea of grief, you always seem to find a way to let me know that you are proud of me, too. And that you love me. It could be a brilliant rainbow that stretches across the sky. It could be your song coming on the radio. It could be a ray of light.  It could be the way your sister smiles at me and I feel you near. It could be a sweet dream of your face. It could be the powerful spirit when I am in the temple. It could be a butterfly that seems to linger, or just a sweet soft caress of breeze.  But,  if I am paying attention, you let me know. And those are my “letters” from my valiant missionary. They give me hope, peace, love and perspective. Please keep them coming, my son.

I know you have already "returned with honor" and it is now my goal to return to YOU with honor. 

“I love you” is another phrase that cannot relay the depth of my feeling. But you know. Thank goodness you know.

I’m proud of you Link. I love you. I miss you.

Love, Mommy.  

February Newsletter & Slideshow

https://picasaweb.google.com/103753336633055957263/2015_02_Slideshow

Hamilton Newsletter
February 2015

FAMILY:  February blew by! It came in like a lamb & went out like a lion! We’ve gotten quite a bit of snow the past week or so. On the 6^th, we headed over to Richfield & stayed overnight before Hayden’s baptism on Saturday, the 7^th. It was wonderful to be with family & we are so proud of Hayden for deciding to be baptized J The day before Valentines was a Friday & Jason went to North Elementary to be a watchdog.  The girls always get so excited that their daddy took the day off to go to their school. Mommy also went & helped with some Valentine’s games in Ireland’s class that day. February was a sad time for the Hamiltons as they had to say goodbye to their dear friends, the Bealers, who moved to North Dakota. We helped them clean & pack and it was sad to see their empty home where we’ve made so many memories. We will miss them so much, but are excited for them and are thankful for Skype, e-mail & FB to keep in touch! The Bensons came over the President’s Day weekend & we had a lot of fun with them – playing games, having a picnic at the cemetery, going to Discovery Park & Main Street Park, watching movies, and going swimming. Mindy was sweet to watch the girls so Jason & Heidi could go out for a Valentine’s Dinner.  The 20^th was Mahina Vogt’s birthday party at Brian Head & we were all invited! The girls had so much fun sledding, eating yummy food, getting warm by the fireplace, swimming, and having cake. That evening, the Reeds surprised us by stopping by & we had fun visiting with them. We signed up for a 5k at the end of April as a family & we have started training. We’re getting out about twice a week and are up to 2.5 miles without stopping! It hasn’t been easy, but we all agree that it’s easier than when we first started! We’ve been working hard on science projects this month as well – McKinley is doing hers on Addison Bealer’s eye condition – Retinosis Pigmentosa. Ireland is doing hers on the rate of freezing water (hot, cold, metal, etc) The rest of the month was spent doing finishing touches for our home to get on the market. Our appraisal came back higher than we expected, so that is the good news! It hit the MLS on the last day of the month & we’ve already had a few showings & one offer (though it didn’t work out). We are encouraged by the activity, though, and are praying that we find the right family for our wonderful home. We also put an official offer in with the Hatch’s home and are waiting to see if it goes through.

JASON: Jason has kept busy at work – they asked him to facilitate a workforce planning group and he did so well they wanted him to continue to be a part of the group. He also has kept busy at home getting it ready to sell – organizing our garage, building shelves, doing paint touch-ups, etc. Jason went night-skiing with the scouts at Brian Head this month & had a great time!

HEIDI: More hard work getting our home in picture-perfect condition for showing, but she’s glad that the really hard work is over and now it’s just maintaining it all J Heidi really enjoyed going out to the Little Brick House for lunch with Mindy when she was in town & visiting with her late into the night. Heidi signed up for a sprint-distance triathlon at the end of May at Sand Hollow so she is looking forward to training for that. Heidi also spent a lot of time spray-painting this month! She spray-painted the girls dresser and Aunt Al’s old (like 100 years old) bedroom set white. Though not perfect, they still turned out really cute!!

McKINLEY:
-Apparently, in 3^rd grade, it’s frowned upon if you don’t have an official “Valentine” on Valentine’s Day. So… McKinley was originally going to ask Orlando, but apparently he had already been asked, so she decided to ask A.J. instead. When mom asked what he said when McKinley asked him to be her Valentine, she said that he said “Umm… fine.” And apparently what it means to have a “Valentine” is to make them a special card. So – McKinley found out that AJ liked airplanes so she spent quite a while making a Valentine for him that said “You’re just PLANE awesome Valentine!” with hand-drawn planes & tanks inside.
-McKinley wanted to make personalized Valentines for everyone in her class this year, so she sat down and made over 30 Valentines and sealed them into letter-sized envelopes with a chocolate inside J
-We have been very impressed with McKinley’s 5k training. She was excited at first, and did very well that first time, but after that we really had to work hard to get her to come out to go for a run. It’s still not easy for her, but she’s now gone 2.5 miles without stopping and she is doing great!!
-When the Bensons came, McKinley had a good time with Zach. One night, they both were reading their scriptures together before they went to bed.
-McKiney has been bringing a little notebook to church with her & writing what she’s learned in it. We love to hear all about it at the dinner table. She also has been very good about fasting & know she is strengthening her own testimony as well as helping those she’s fasting for.
-McKinley still enjoys going to 4H and activity days!
-McKinley is already missing her friend Addison a lot. She’s already sent her a letter with some pictures inside.
-McKinley read “Magic Half” and “Magic in the Mix” by Annie Barrows this month & she LOVED them! She passed them on to mom to read & she was able to read the Magic Half & loved it, too!

IRELAND:
-One day, Ireland started saying the name of the Lord in vain L Mom asked her where she heard it & she said from the Alligator show that they were watching at Grandma Devinish’s. Unfortunately, it took a while to break her of the habit, including cayenne pepper & soap L
-Ireland is getting lots of lime tickets at school & even got called down to the office to get a treat!
-MIRACLE! Ireland went to the Discovery Park with Mahina one day & lost the jacket part of her coat L The next week, we went there & lo & behold, it was just sitting there on a post!!
-Ireland was so sweet this year. She made Valentines for each member of our family – including Link, Tundra, and each miscarriage and put it in sealed envelopes.
-Ireland always has so much fun when she gets to sleep over with her friend, Sienna. Wow! They are gigglers, though! It usually takes them till late at night before they finally calm down J
-Ireland had fun making a Home Depot boat that dad picked up for the girls. She is very good at following the directions and hammering the nails J
-It was Ireland’s month for a lunch date & she really wanted to go to Arctic Circle, so she & mom got to go while the other girls had lunch with dad at his work.

KEZIA:
-One day Ireland was cuddling with daddy when she said “Eww Dad! Your armpit smells like victory!!” (Mr. Peabody & Sherman reference) J
-One day Kezia said “Do you know what BMF” stands for? Mom said no. She said “Best Mom Forever” J
-Kezia had fun playing with her preschool friend Gabe & wanted to ask him to play at our home, but one day she came home & said he didn’t want to be her friend anymore L (apparently, he’s said this to 4 different girls in the class)
-Kezi found a Valentine’s craft book and kept us all busy doing secret crafts for everyone. She had dad help her make paper flowers for mom. And she had mom help her make salt dough hearts for dad.
-Kezia says “I always laugh when Grandpa tickles me.”

LINK:
We loved going to your bench & having a picnic this month, baby boy. We miss you & love you. We were able to do sealings in the temple & thought of you!!

NOELLE:
-This 10-month-old girl is MOBILE!! She does this kneeling/scooting thing and is now everywhere & into everything, including (but not limited to) dog food and water, cords of every kind, batteries, and dog bones. We really have to watch her near the stairs, too, as she seems interested in them.

-Noelle is so cute when she claps her feet! She loves to do it in the bath, too, and it splashes water everywhere!
-Another super-duper-adorable thing she does is the scrunchy face smile, where she scrunches up her nose and shows those cute bottom teeth. SO SO CUTE!
-When Noelle is SUPER-excited, she just shakes all over. A few things that get her this excited – Sydney the dog, Rainbow Truck the bunny, small flying helicopters, and bath time J
-Even though she still eats baby food sometimes, she is eating pretty much everything we eat now. She LOVES beans especially! Now, we just have to break her of the habit of feeding the dog, too.
-Noelle has REALLY gotten into Signing Time this past month. The minute the song comes on, she is paying attention and smiling. We are using the signs with her & think she will start to sign soon!
-She had a really hard time sleeping for a few weeks once she started getting mobile. She would roll all over & sit & stand. Finally, she seems to have figured out getting to sleep. Staying asleep took a little more work & we had to let her cry it out a few times. She is doing much better now, though and sleeping pretty much from 7pm to 7:30am!! Yay!
-She usually naps from about 10-11am and again from about 2-4pm.
-She is almost done breastfeeding – she was so distracted and would turn her head and move around & even bite. Now, we’re just down to right before she goes to sleep and right when she wakes up. She has had regular cows milk & seems to really like it!
-Her hair is really getting long! We have to pull it back into pigtails just so it doesn’t get all over & in her face! It’s also lightened up quite a bit!