Return with Honor

My Dear Link-

Oh my beloved son. I am thankful you can know exactly what is in my heart without using words, because there are many, many times that this mortal language limits my expression.  For example, the words “I miss you” are completely inadequate. No number of accompanying adjectives could express the ache I have for you.

Only a few months after you left this earth, I was at church and the lesson was on missionary work. Mother after mother stood up and read letters from their missionaries. My heart was grieved afresh as I knew that I would not have the opportunity to read similar letters from you. I always dreamt of having a  son serve a mission and be able to share that same pride and delight as those mothers – reading your letters and learning of your growth and testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ. And my heart was crushed as the reality set in that I would not send my son on a mission.   And then, clearly and surely, words came to my mind. They were “YOU ALREADY HAVE A SON ON A MISSION” and acknowledging the reality of that statement almost took my breath away. Tears came to my eyes as my heart witnessed the truth of what my mind had just understood.  It didn’t take away all the hurt, but it certainly helped me as I realized that I, too, could stand up with those mothers and talk about my son on a mission.

Link, I know you have been busy these past two years. You have helped to bring your Grandmother to the temple and get her sealed to her parents and spouse. You have been the source of much work in our family to do genealogy work and help “Link” families together. You have given your sisters a strong testimony of the plan of salvation, family history, and missionary work. They love to share your story and remember you. You helped bring your sister to mortality and we know that you two share a special, eternal bond.  You also have worked on your Grandma Tew’s side of the family and we were surprised and overjoyed to learn of your 2^nd cousin getting to serve in Thailand. We know you are assisting him as well.  Your dad and I talk about what you look like as a missionary. We wonder who your companions are – Grandpa Tew?  Uncle Bart? What are your “zones”? Does Jesus head up your mission conferences? Most importantly, we wonder how we can help you. We wonder if we’re doing enough with making sure our own family is “Linked” together tightly, and if we are making enough progress with finding names. We seek your help, Link, with lines of our family where we seem to be “stuck” – especially your dad’s dad’s line and my dad’s line. We ask for and expect help and miracles as we seek for these names and try to learn more about our ancestors.

Now, I can’t say that I have always been a supportive “missionary mom.” I try, but I have to admit that there are moments when I truly wish I was a regular missionary mom. After two years, they get to welcome their sons home with hugs and kisses. I admit that my temporal mind reaches up to the heavens and wonders “Isn’t two years enough?” “Hasn’t he done enough good for you?” “Can’t I please have him back now?”    No… your mission papers do not have a return date on them and many days, it’s hard for my heart to accept. But there are moments of clarity and perspective, moments when I turn my eyes toward the heavens and my heart is filled with pride at all you are doing and knowledge that it has to be this way – that you cannot do what you need to do from this side of the veil. And in those moments when I am looking up, instead of awash in my dark sea of grief, you always seem to find a way to let me know that you are proud of me, too. And that you love me. It could be a brilliant rainbow that stretches across the sky. It could be your song coming on the radio. It could be a ray of light.  It could be the way your sister smiles at me and I feel you near. It could be a sweet dream of your face. It could be the powerful spirit when I am in the temple. It could be a butterfly that seems to linger, or just a sweet soft caress of breeze.  But,  if I am paying attention, you let me know. And those are my “letters” from my valiant missionary. They give me hope, peace, love and perspective. Please keep them coming, my son.

I know you have already "returned with honor" and it is now my goal to return to YOU with honor. 

“I love you” is another phrase that cannot relay the depth of my feeling. But you know. Thank goodness you know.

I’m proud of you Link. I love you. I miss you.

Love, Mommy.  

February Newsletter & Slideshow

https://picasaweb.google.com/103753336633055957263/2015_02_Slideshow

Hamilton Newsletter
February 2015

FAMILY:  February blew by! It came in like a lamb & went out like a lion! We’ve gotten quite a bit of snow the past week or so. On the 6^th, we headed over to Richfield & stayed overnight before Hayden’s baptism on Saturday, the 7^th. It was wonderful to be with family & we are so proud of Hayden for deciding to be baptized J The day before Valentines was a Friday & Jason went to North Elementary to be a watchdog.  The girls always get so excited that their daddy took the day off to go to their school. Mommy also went & helped with some Valentine’s games in Ireland’s class that day. February was a sad time for the Hamiltons as they had to say goodbye to their dear friends, the Bealers, who moved to North Dakota. We helped them clean & pack and it was sad to see their empty home where we’ve made so many memories. We will miss them so much, but are excited for them and are thankful for Skype, e-mail & FB to keep in touch! The Bensons came over the President’s Day weekend & we had a lot of fun with them – playing games, having a picnic at the cemetery, going to Discovery Park & Main Street Park, watching movies, and going swimming. Mindy was sweet to watch the girls so Jason & Heidi could go out for a Valentine’s Dinner.  The 20^th was Mahina Vogt’s birthday party at Brian Head & we were all invited! The girls had so much fun sledding, eating yummy food, getting warm by the fireplace, swimming, and having cake. That evening, the Reeds surprised us by stopping by & we had fun visiting with them. We signed up for a 5k at the end of April as a family & we have started training. We’re getting out about twice a week and are up to 2.5 miles without stopping! It hasn’t been easy, but we all agree that it’s easier than when we first started! We’ve been working hard on science projects this month as well – McKinley is doing hers on Addison Bealer’s eye condition – Retinosis Pigmentosa. Ireland is doing hers on the rate of freezing water (hot, cold, metal, etc) The rest of the month was spent doing finishing touches for our home to get on the market. Our appraisal came back higher than we expected, so that is the good news! It hit the MLS on the last day of the month & we’ve already had a few showings & one offer (though it didn’t work out). We are encouraged by the activity, though, and are praying that we find the right family for our wonderful home. We also put an official offer in with the Hatch’s home and are waiting to see if it goes through.

JASON: Jason has kept busy at work – they asked him to facilitate a workforce planning group and he did so well they wanted him to continue to be a part of the group. He also has kept busy at home getting it ready to sell – organizing our garage, building shelves, doing paint touch-ups, etc. Jason went night-skiing with the scouts at Brian Head this month & had a great time!

HEIDI: More hard work getting our home in picture-perfect condition for showing, but she’s glad that the really hard work is over and now it’s just maintaining it all J Heidi really enjoyed going out to the Little Brick House for lunch with Mindy when she was in town & visiting with her late into the night. Heidi signed up for a sprint-distance triathlon at the end of May at Sand Hollow so she is looking forward to training for that. Heidi also spent a lot of time spray-painting this month! She spray-painted the girls dresser and Aunt Al’s old (like 100 years old) bedroom set white. Though not perfect, they still turned out really cute!!

McKINLEY:
-Apparently, in 3^rd grade, it’s frowned upon if you don’t have an official “Valentine” on Valentine’s Day. So… McKinley was originally going to ask Orlando, but apparently he had already been asked, so she decided to ask A.J. instead. When mom asked what he said when McKinley asked him to be her Valentine, she said that he said “Umm… fine.” And apparently what it means to have a “Valentine” is to make them a special card. So – McKinley found out that AJ liked airplanes so she spent quite a while making a Valentine for him that said “You’re just PLANE awesome Valentine!” with hand-drawn planes & tanks inside.
-McKinley wanted to make personalized Valentines for everyone in her class this year, so she sat down and made over 30 Valentines and sealed them into letter-sized envelopes with a chocolate inside J
-We have been very impressed with McKinley’s 5k training. She was excited at first, and did very well that first time, but after that we really had to work hard to get her to come out to go for a run. It’s still not easy for her, but she’s now gone 2.5 miles without stopping and she is doing great!!
-When the Bensons came, McKinley had a good time with Zach. One night, they both were reading their scriptures together before they went to bed.
-McKiney has been bringing a little notebook to church with her & writing what she’s learned in it. We love to hear all about it at the dinner table. She also has been very good about fasting & know she is strengthening her own testimony as well as helping those she’s fasting for.
-McKinley still enjoys going to 4H and activity days!
-McKinley is already missing her friend Addison a lot. She’s already sent her a letter with some pictures inside.
-McKinley read “Magic Half” and “Magic in the Mix” by Annie Barrows this month & she LOVED them! She passed them on to mom to read & she was able to read the Magic Half & loved it, too!

IRELAND:
-One day, Ireland started saying the name of the Lord in vain L Mom asked her where she heard it & she said from the Alligator show that they were watching at Grandma Devinish’s. Unfortunately, it took a while to break her of the habit, including cayenne pepper & soap L
-Ireland is getting lots of lime tickets at school & even got called down to the office to get a treat!
-MIRACLE! Ireland went to the Discovery Park with Mahina one day & lost the jacket part of her coat L The next week, we went there & lo & behold, it was just sitting there on a post!!
-Ireland was so sweet this year. She made Valentines for each member of our family – including Link, Tundra, and each miscarriage and put it in sealed envelopes.
-Ireland always has so much fun when she gets to sleep over with her friend, Sienna. Wow! They are gigglers, though! It usually takes them till late at night before they finally calm down J
-Ireland had fun making a Home Depot boat that dad picked up for the girls. She is very good at following the directions and hammering the nails J
-It was Ireland’s month for a lunch date & she really wanted to go to Arctic Circle, so she & mom got to go while the other girls had lunch with dad at his work.

KEZIA:
-One day Ireland was cuddling with daddy when she said “Eww Dad! Your armpit smells like victory!!” (Mr. Peabody & Sherman reference) J
-One day Kezia said “Do you know what BMF” stands for? Mom said no. She said “Best Mom Forever” J
-Kezia had fun playing with her preschool friend Gabe & wanted to ask him to play at our home, but one day she came home & said he didn’t want to be her friend anymore L (apparently, he’s said this to 4 different girls in the class)
-Kezi found a Valentine’s craft book and kept us all busy doing secret crafts for everyone. She had dad help her make paper flowers for mom. And she had mom help her make salt dough hearts for dad.
-Kezia says “I always laugh when Grandpa tickles me.”

LINK:
We loved going to your bench & having a picnic this month, baby boy. We miss you & love you. We were able to do sealings in the temple & thought of you!!

NOELLE:
-This 10-month-old girl is MOBILE!! She does this kneeling/scooting thing and is now everywhere & into everything, including (but not limited to) dog food and water, cords of every kind, batteries, and dog bones. We really have to watch her near the stairs, too, as she seems interested in them.

-Noelle is so cute when she claps her feet! She loves to do it in the bath, too, and it splashes water everywhere!
-Another super-duper-adorable thing she does is the scrunchy face smile, where she scrunches up her nose and shows those cute bottom teeth. SO SO CUTE!
-When Noelle is SUPER-excited, she just shakes all over. A few things that get her this excited – Sydney the dog, Rainbow Truck the bunny, small flying helicopters, and bath time J
-Even though she still eats baby food sometimes, she is eating pretty much everything we eat now. She LOVES beans especially! Now, we just have to break her of the habit of feeding the dog, too.
-Noelle has REALLY gotten into Signing Time this past month. The minute the song comes on, she is paying attention and smiling. We are using the signs with her & think she will start to sign soon!
-She had a really hard time sleeping for a few weeks once she started getting mobile. She would roll all over & sit & stand. Finally, she seems to have figured out getting to sleep. Staying asleep took a little more work & we had to let her cry it out a few times. She is doing much better now, though and sleeping pretty much from 7pm to 7:30am!! Yay!
-She usually naps from about 10-11am and again from about 2-4pm.
-She is almost done breastfeeding – she was so distracted and would turn her head and move around & even bite. Now, we’re just down to right before she goes to sleep and right when she wakes up. She has had regular cows milk & seems to really like it!
-Her hair is really getting long! We have to pull it back into pigtails just so it doesn’t get all over & in her face! It’s also lightened up quite a bit!

January Newsletter & Slideshow

Hamilton Newsletter

January 2015

FAMILY:  Happy New Year!! 2015 sounds so futuristic, doesn’t it? For the second year in a row, we had sickies on New Years & so we couldn’t hang out with friends :( And – we all went to bed at midnight New York time to get some much-needed rest! Daddy took the girls ice skating on the 2^nd and they had a lot of fun – they LOVE to go ice skating! The older girls headed back to school on the 5^th and afterwards, we went to the park to try and soak in some vitamin D. On the 8^th, we headed up north for the 3^rd time in a month J It was all worth it, though, when we reached the amazing cabin by Bear Lake. It is a gigantic home with 9 bedrooms, a theater room, a gorgeous view, about 6 tables in the kitchen, indoor slides to each floor, and an enormous play area on the bottom floor, complete with a basketball area, an indoor trampoline, and a playground. The girls got their own room with 2 bunk beds and pink bedspreads. The next few days were spent playing, watching movies (Box Trolls, Fault in our Stars, Guardians of the Galaxy), sledding, playing games (Tiffany’s biggest fear is getting killed by a sloth) ;), doing puzzles (we stayed up till 1am one night!),playing air hockey, snowmobiling, drinking LOTS of hot cocoa, eating yummy food, going to church, doing sticker pages, watching the boys play pool downstairs, going on a 5-mile sunrise run (okay – that was just Grandpa Potts & mom), painting nails, and grabbing raspberry shakes on the way out of town! All-in-all, it was a wonderful, fabulous Potts family retreat. There was plenty of room for everyone and we all enjoyed being together. The only downers were Adam & Tiffany getting stuck on the snowmobiles (Maddy & Grace weren’t happy, either, missing their parents) :( and Ireland & Kezia not liking the raspberry shakes! The girls had a fabulous time and couldn’t stop talking about it. Mommy & Daddy had been slacking on lunch dates the past few months, so we made up for it this month! One week, daddy took Ireland to Denny’s & then DQ. Another week, mom took McKinley to Zaxby’s (a new restaurant in town), and then another week Kezi got to go with daddy to Denny’s & DQ! Whew! Glad we’re all caught up J We always have a wonderful time on our lunch dates. On the 24^th, Keeley was so good to watch the girls while Jason & Heidi did sealings for family names at the temple. It was a wonderful, educational, spiritual night! Thanks Keeley! On the 30^th, the girls had a late-over. McKinley had Lindsay Jordan over & Ireland & Kezia had Isabella & Emi. They had fun playing & watching movies. We really want to get healthy as a family this year, so we decided to sign up for a 5k at the end of April. We’ve already gone on a 2-mile run as a family & look forward to working toward this goal! We’ve been reading the book Heidi for the past few months, here and there as we can. It has been a lot of fun – Ireland is the one who picked it and she loves hearing the story of the girl of the alps J  

JASON: Jason went back to his gs9 budget analyst position this month & moved his office back to the S.O. He has worked very hard on organizing the house – building shelves in the garage and hauling things to the dump and the D.I. Jason spent a good week or so going through all our music files and making playlists to put on his new micro SD card that he got for Christmas.

HEIDI: Heidi worked hard as well – cleaning and organizing the house. That was what much of January was spent doing J She really enjoyed being with her family this month – especially seeing Tiffany who she hadn’t seen in a YEAR! Heidi did another freezer meal swap this month & she made 25 meals in 4 hours! It’s always a lot of work, but she’s so happy to have her freezer full again! The only casualty was her fingernail. She sliced the top of it off when she was using her food processor to slice potatoes. Ouch!

McKINLEY:

-McKinley has really gotten into indexing this month! Sometimes, we really have to pry her off the computer to go to bed! We know her brother is so proud of her when she indexes – and we are, too!
-At school one day McKinley asked the lunch worker a question and she got yelled at. It really hurt McKinley’s feelings and apparently, this one worker seems to yell a lot. Mom, dad & McKinley discussed it and we suggested she write a letter to her. So – McKinley wrote her a letter, thanking her for all the work she does for the students, and politely asking her to stop yelling.  She was very brave and gave it right to her. We are so proud of her and love seeing how she truly is a leader at her school.
-McKinley had SO much fun at the Bear Lake House. She said her favorite things were seeing Aunt Tiffany and riding snowmobiles.
-McKinley’s tablet just wasn’t charging this month, so we went ahead & used the warranty we bought for it and got her a new one. She was bummed that she had to re-download all her favorite apps and start over, but she’s thankful this one works so much better!
-For all of January & February, McKinley has Activity Days every Tuesday. An SUU student is helping out and McKinley has had fun seeing more of her friends from the ward!
-McKinley has REALLY loved her new CD, 1 Girl Nation. It’s got such a fun tune, and she has almost all the lyrics already memorized!

IRELAND:
-Ireland was in time out one day and she started just crying loudly. Mom came in to see what the matter was & she sobbed “I threw the boot at them & it didn’t even hit them! And so then they laughed at me!” Hmmm – mom had a difficult time trying to find empathy for that one!
-Ireland went to Isabella Daniel’s birthday party this month. They went ice skating, played games, and ate cake and ice cream. She had so much fun!
-Ireland has really been excelling at school – she’s done so well on her spelling tests. Usually over 100% & her math tests are also coming back with 100% - SUCH an improvement!!
-We are wondering just what to do about Ireland’s teeth. We met with Anderton Orthodontics and Wilson & Whetton. They both have different approaches as to what to do about the severe crowding. They also have different pricing, so we will need to make a decision soon, but we are so thankful for insurance to help with the costs!
-One night, Ireland was in a sad, difficult mood. She went off about how it wasn’t fair that Kezia could stay home and she couldn’t. Then it went to it wasn’t fair that mom and dad spent more time with Link than her while he was here and why couldn’t she be in the hospital with him. (then she started crying) Then it wasn’t fair that Link died. Then – she said it was her fault that he died because one day she said she wondered what it would be like if he died “and then I got the answer and I didn’t want it.” . Then – she said there WAS a way that we could have saved Link “by taking out someone else’s heart and guts and moving them over to him.” (this has a little bit of background since we’ve been praying for a family whose little boy finally just received a heart transplant) Then – she expressed guilt about not thinking about him very much – pushing away her feelings and guilt.    Wow. It was a lot to take in at the time. Mom tried to just let her talk and reassure her that it wasn’t her fault at all. There were tears and hugs. Ireland seemed very relieved after talking – it seemed that she had been bottling that up for a while & we are thankful that she finally talked to us about it.
-One day we were talking about Golilocks & the three bears. We said mom could be the momma bear and dad could be the daddy bear & Noelle could be the baby bear. We asked what McKinley & Kezia would be & Ireland said “They would be the illustrators!”
-Ireland was standing on Noelle’s ride-on toy behind the couch – moving around. She said “look at me mom!” – then she busted out “I got the moves like Jagger!”
-We were watching a youtube video one day and the guy was talking and we asked where they thought he was from (the answer was India). Ireland said “Texaco?”

KEZIA:
-One day we went to Walmart. Mom was trying to get a cart, but they were stuck together. Mom was pulling hard & finally it broke free, but it came forcefully & unfortunately Kezi was standing right behind it and it whacked her right in the forehead! :(
-We all enjoy Kezia’s prayers. One night she prayed “And please bless that she will choose the right by inviting me to her birthday party…” Also – every night she prays “for Link, Tundra, and all the babies, toddlers, kids, and adults and animals to be resurrected soon.” :)
-Heavenly Father must have heard her prayer, because Kezia DID get to go to a birthday party for a girl in her preschool class – Audrey.
-Whenever we have soda (rarely) or chocolate milk or any drink other than water, Kezi likes to save a bit of it & pour it into popsicle molds. We have all kinds of yummy experiments currently in our freezer :)
-Kezi got a little tiny ball maze from the birthday party that she went to. She dropped it and the ball came out. She exclaimed “Oh no! What have I done??”
-Kezia had her Kindergarten shots this month and she was SO brave! The nurses were so impressed and kept saying “Wow! She didn’t even make a face – not a peep!” She was so excited to tell her daddy & sisters how brave she was.

LINK:
Aunt Deb was so sweet and bought a 12x12 original painting of a rainbow, here’s what she said about it:
There was a little Laotian man selling a few of his paintings in a family restaurant that Larry and I were eating at. They were all landscapes with trees, trails, etc., but when I saw the one with the rainbow I immediately thought of Link. He said that he hadn't been painting for long because when he lived in Laos, he didn't know that he could paint. He had just recently started to paint rainbows and this was his favorite because it showed the entire rainbow, except that he asked if I knew that rainbows were actually circles. He said that if we were in the water, we might be able to see the entire circle, without beginning or end. Pretty awesome, and meant for your family. Love you guys!
Heidi also wrote a blog that was well-received & was able to share some ideas about how loved ones could bring up our angel children & let us talk about them. Had a few people tell us how much Link’s story means to them, which was very sweet.

NOELLE:
-9 months old!! Her 9 month appointment went well. She is growing & progressing well! :)
-She is still quite a mommy’s girl. It’s so cute when mom is around someone Noelle doesn’t know, she will just put her head on mommy’s chest and just kind of suspiciously glance over at the stranger.
-Noelle fully has 2 little teeth out and tall! They are sharp chompers, too!
-She definitely has been gravitating toward “real” food & not liking the baby food as much. She loves mac n’ cheese, tortillas, and rice.
-Another favorite of Noelle is the dishwasher. If she’s fussy, just stand her up by the open dishwasher & she will usually calm right down. She loves pulling things out and moving the utincil container up & down.
-Mom has to keep Noelle’s fingernails pretty short – she loves to scrape mommy’s face!
-Noelle is getting to be a strong stander. She can stand all by herself for 10 seconds! And she’s soclose to taking  that first step. She still doesn’t love her tummy. She will get up on all fours, but she doesn’t really like to go anywhere & soon she’ll go down to her tummy & start crying.
-She did go down the sledding hill a few times at the Bear Lake cabin – so fun!
-She also got to hang out with her two cousins that will be in her grade – Grace & Caden.
-After we got back from the cabin, mom decided it was time for Noelle to graduate from the Guardian Sleeper to the sleep sack. The first few nights were rough – she woke up a lot & wasn’t used to not being strapped in. Also – the Snuza kept falling off with all of her movement all over the crib until Anna suggested that we fold her diaper down & that’s helped a lot. Now, she is pretty used to the sleep sack & likes to sleep on her tummy. That was hard for mom to get used to for a while, but she sleeps better that way & with the Snuza on, it gives peace of mind.
-Noelle has pretty much given up her 3^rd nap for the day & goes down usually about 9:30 and about 1pm.
-She still loves talking and makes the “t” sound a lot.
-If there is something she’s really excited about, she will just kind of squeal & shake all over – like McKinley’s tiny helicopter she got for Christmas. It’s hard to tell if she’s scared or excited, but it’s so cute!
-She is liking Signing Time more & more. When the song comes on at the beginning, she is definitely paying attention – and will usually watch one whole 30 minute DVD without complaint :)
-Mom spent a LOT of time going through clothes for Noelle last month – we found 2 containers of 12-18 month clothes & it took a while to go through them all, but thankfully the cutest ones are now in her closets and drawers & she has a LOT of them! The fun ones are the ones that all the girls have worn. It’s so fun to see her in them.
-Noelle is a momma’s girl, but she LOVES seeing her daddy when he gets home & she just wants to go to him immediately. It’s so cute.
-Mornings are so fun with Noelle. After her oldest sisters head to school, mom & Kezia get to sing songs, read books, and do finger games with Noelle. We LOVE our Noelle-my-belle!

How to talk to your friend about her dead child

As time has gone on, people have reached out to me when someone they know has lost a child. They want to help, but they don't know how.  This blog post aims to bridge the gap between those that want to help and the parent of a child that has died. I have read many blog posts about what to say or not say when a child dies (here's a great one from my good SIDS mom friend), I just wanted to add more specific words people can use when they want to reach out and talk to their friend about their child. 

Back on my Grief University post (written about 3 months after Link died), I talked about how amazing and surprising it was for me, after losing a child, to realize how much I needed to hear my son's name after he died. Now, almost two years after his death, that longing to hear his name, to talk about him, to share his life story has not diminished one bit. In fact, it seems to only have strengthened. Talking about him validates that he lived and that he was and is a very important part of our family and my life. Someone posted this the other day and I think it sums it up - amazing as it is, I want to share about my dead child as much - if not MORE - than I want to share about my living children! 

So - the first thing I can say is that if your friend wants to talk about their child that died, LET THEM TALK! We know it is not comfortable when we talk about them. We know you don't know what to say! If your friend brings them up... just listen. Acknowledge their pain. Please don't change the subject. Please don't try to lighten the conversation. 

I had SO many people tell me "I cannot imagine..." - and that's fine. We know you can't imagine - it's not something we ever could have possibly imagined, either. But the people I really, truly appreciated were the ones that tried to imagine. They tried to put themselves in my painful shoes - and tried to offer the kind of support they would want if their child died. That is true empathy. More often than not, people said those words, and just kind of backed out of my life. They didn't want to imagine. They didn't want to walk with me in this painful journey. And unfortunately, it added to my broken heart and broken life. This is something I hear from loss moms a lot.

Now, I don't want you to think it's a natural thing to be able to talk about your friend's dead child. It wasn't for me. Before the afternoon of March 26, 2013 shattered my universe, I had friends who had lost children. Sadly, quite a few. And my heart hurt for them. It stung. I cried for them. I wrote cards for them. I bought them jewelry and gifts. I watched their other children. But I never knew what to SAY.  One friend specifically I had daily interactions with - she was a close neighbor friend. After her twin girls died, I really tried to be kind, but unfortunately, I didn't realize that she wanted to talk about her children. I figured that it would hurt more than help. HOW WRONG I WAS! Now that I'm on the "other side," I know better. So, even though many people said or did hurtful things - or acted like it never happened after Link died, I have always tried to give them the benefit of the doubt. I know how hard it is to think of something to say, which is why I am writing this post. I asked moms from three different grieving boards what helped bridge that gap. You are sitting by your friend who lost their child. You want to help, you want to heal. You just can't think of the words to say. Here are some suggestions from me and other angel moms:

-How is your heart?  You know, I really didn't mind when people asked "how are you?" as long as it wasn't in passing and I could tell they were sincere, but usually that wasn't the case. "How is your heart?" is a deeper question - one that tells me they really want to know how I'm doing and I'm more likely to share. 

-I can't take away the hurt you feel from losing Link, but tomorrow, I am coming over to bring a meal/get some of your laundry/clean for an hour/etc. I'm sure you know by now that saying "let me know how I can help" is pretty worthless. Even if you mean it, the chances that your friend will actually take you up on it are pretty slim. I love this quote from Elder Ronald A. Rasband "“would you ask someone who was drowning ‘let me know how I can help you’ or would you jump in and save them?” Let me tell you, someone that has lost a child is drowning. 

-I can't believe it's been three weeks (or 3 months. or 3 years. or 30 years) since Link died... This bridges the gap. You are acknowledging their child. You are using their name. This opens things for your friend to talk. If you want, you can also follow up with something like "what do you miss most about the age they would be right now?"

-Tell me about your plans for Link's headstone... After the initial shock is worn off, this is something that we unfortunately have to think about. As hard as it was to acknowledge that I had to pick out a headstone for my son, I loved sharing our plans for Link's bench. It was something that I put a lot of thought into. While I won't be getting a tattoo, I also love to ask people about theirs. If your friend got a tattoo, ask them about why they chose what they did to remember their child. 

-I visited Link's grave today... Oh my goodness, I cannot tell you how much love I feel for the person that just randomly visits his grave and tells me about it. Even more when they leave something sweet for him. 

-Tell me about a favorite memory with Link... This is something that makes us think... we may not always know the answer right away. Link only lived 4 months, but thinking about our favorite memories together makes me smile. Now - if your friend lost her baby when she was pregnant, or had a stillborn baby, I believe you can still rephrase this question to something like "When did you feel Jonah move the most?" "Did he seem like he liked certain music?" And if your friend lost an older child -  "What was Jennifer's favorite toy?" "Did she have a favorite food or movie?" "What outfit was your favorite on Link?" I know this seems awkward. I KNOW it's hard to ask because you are scared they are going to freak out. Obviously, you are going to need to know your friend, but when someone asks this to me, I love it. I get to talk about him! One angel mom said "I love it when people remember that he lived, not just ask how he died."

-How are Link's sister's handing everything?... Another way to open those lines of communication and see how everyone is doing. Each of my girls has gone (and continues to go) through their own grieving processes and it sure helps to talk about. 

-Will you tell me about the day Link was born? An angel mom said that her sister-in-law asked this question on her child's birthday and it meant so much to her. I agree. Just as I love sharing the birth stories from my living children, I love to share his, too. Questions like "how long were you in labor?" and "how much did he weigh?" are perfect follow-up questions. 

-Will you tell me about the day Link died? Obviously, this wouldn't be a question you would ask at any random time, but in the right setting, I want to tell you about the day Link died. Something you need to understand is that I carry the hurt from the day he died 24/7. It is ALWAYS with me, so you asking me about it isn't going to cause me MORE pain. I will share different details with you depending on how well I know you or how sincere I believe you are, but I will not get offended by this question. 

-Will you show me pictures/videos of Link? Again, I just want to hug the person that asks this. I regularly download pictures from my phone each month & delete them, but I haven't ever deleted the pictures that I had of Link on my phone. I can whip it out anywhere and any time and talk your ear off about each picture. And if you're in my home, I have two photo albums to show you, pictures on the wall, hand molds, etc. Many moms of stillborn babies have gotten pictures as well & I know it means so much to them to be able to share them with you. 

-Do you have plans or ideas for Link's upcoming birthday/angelversary? We have specific things we do to honor our son on his special days (Link's birthday and anniversary of his death) and while of course it's hard, I love to share our plans. 

-I thought of Link today when... it could be they saw a rainbow. It could be they saw a baby boy that was Link's age when he died - or a boy the age that Link would be. It could be that they read a scripture or they did family history. It could be when they were rocking their baby. Whatever it is, I love to hear it & I am filled with gratitude when people don't just keep that to themselves, but share it with me. 

-I'm praying for you. This can be just another trite saying, but I can tell when people really mean it. When they really are praying for me. And it means a whole lot - especially on his birthday or angelversary. 

-I wanted to show you this picture that Brandon drew... I LOVE it when people share with me when their children talk about Link. Whether it's a picture that they drew, a question that they had, or just a comment, it all means so much. And little children are not prone to awkardness when asking questions :) One angel mom said "Last week I had a friend in my church stop by and she brought her daughter. We were talking about Gabriel's upcoming 6th Birthday and my daughter said he will be 6. My friend's daughter who is 8 very abruptly said "if he is dead how can he be almost 6"? It took us by surprise a little and her mom immediately went into overdrive trying to smooth the comment over and explain it to her daughter. I felt a little bad for my friend because I'm sure it made her uncomfortable but for me it was kind of nice to hear the honesty in her little voice trying to understand. I welcomed the question and was happy to help her understand that we still celebrate his birthday's whether he's with us physically or not."

-I had a dream about Link... Ahhh - dreams. I cherish each and every dream I have had about Link. Both the sweet ones and the crazy ones. My sister called me one day & shared a dream she had about Link and it meant so much to me. So - again, don't keep it to yourself, thinking it will only bring up hurt!! Please - share!! 

Some final thoughts:

*Consistency! Keep showing you care when everyone else has gone back to their lives. Probably the most meaningful thing to me after my son died - even more than all the sweet gifts, cards, money, etc was my sister's act of kindness. For 3 months straight, she didn't miss a day checking in with me - either texting or calling (we live 3 hours apart). Sometimes I had a lot to say. Sometimes I didn't say much. Sometimes I didn't answer the phone because I was sobbing too hard. But I saw that she was calling. I knew that she cared. Even with all she had going on with her life, her act of acknowledging my pain, asking those hard questions, and just putting herself in my shoes was a huge support for me. Her constant care brought me love & security when sometimes I thought no one else cared. 

*Remember Dates! We know you are busy. We know you have lots of other dates and times to remember, but you don't know how much it means to us that you remember our sweet children on their special days - especially birthdays and angelversaries (the anniversary of their death). And not just the first one. Or the second one. Or the 20th one. Send flowers. Send a card. Call. Or at the very least, send a text or e-mail to let us know you are thinking of us and our child. Also - please remember that babies month birthdays are days that we hurt, too. I think Link's 6-month birthday was almost harder than his year birthday. My mom is really good at remembering all his dates & sending texts - it just tells me that my son isn't forgotten - and neither am I. 

*Use their name! I always say that hearing Link's name is like food to my starving momma soul. I get to hear my living children's names many times a day - and in our family I don't think a day goes by that his name isn't mentioned, but for others to use his name, it's such a blessing. Such a treat. It swells my heart with gratitude. 

*Share memories and pictures! Right after Link died, I sent an e-mail to family & friends asking for them to send me any memories and pictures they had. It was so neat to read their memories and see their pictures. I put them all in his book. Once in a while, I will even get a random e-mail with a remembered picture or memory and it is seriously like finding a diamond. Doesn't matter how blurry or seemingly insignificant it is - each picture and memory is SO precious to me! Send your friend any/all that you have and don't worry so much about it bringing pain to them!

*Do not assume these things become obsolete after a certain period of time! Pretty much all of the questions I suggest are timeless. As I said in the beginning, talking about my son only becomes more precious to me as the time goes on. So - if your friend's child died 12 years ago - ask these questions! My grandma lost her son almost 50 years ago & she still wants to talk about him. 

I know this seems like a lot. Maybe you are not up for it. Maybe you would rather walk away than try and make it work with all the messiness that comes with losing a child. But I promise that you both will be blessed if you put in the effort. THANK YOU to all my loved ones who have "walked with me in the rain" and continue to do so. Your love, empathy, and kindness have blessed my life more than you will ever know. 

*I would still love input from any loss parents out there on what helped them. I'm sure I haven't covered all the bases, but hopefully I got the important things. 

December Newsletter & Slideshow

https://picasaweb.google.com/103753336633055957263/2014_12_Slideshow

Hamilton Newsletter
December 2014

FAMILY: December is usually a busy month for the Hamiltons, but this year, it seemed to pass at breakneck speed! It might have something to do with all the traveling. Jason & Heidi were able to attend Heidi’s cousin, Cannon’s, first trip through the temple. It was at the Oquirrh Mountain Temple and it was so very joyful and wonderful. Afterwards we went to Village Inn for dinner. Thank you to Tiarra for watching the girls – especially Noelle who was not a happy camper L The next day, Sunday the 12^th, we headed up to Clifton, ID for Cannon’s missionary farewell. He is heading to Thiland and we are so happy for him! His farewell talk was wonderful & it was great to see so much family there. We headed back up north on the 19^th & stopped in Richfield for a nice dinner. Monday, the 20^th, was the Tew Christmas “Eve” party and it was at the Potts this year, so Heidi & the girls helped clean & prepare for everyone to come over to grandma’s. It was a full house! But – good food and good conversation. Then, on Christmas Eve morning, we all headed back up to Clifton for Burton & Natalie’s wedding. The girls all got to wear their brand new beautiful Christmas dresses from Grandma Devenish! We are so happy for the Tews! Then back to SLC for annual PJ opening, candle-lighting, and songs. We also watched  “A Christmas Story,” which was fun J Christmas Day was wonderful – we even got a white Christmas after so much warmth! It was awesome! Uncle Richard came about 11 and the rest of the family was there by noon. It was a wonderful, classic Christmas and we loved spending time with family – playing games, talking, resting, watching movies, etc.  We had a Christmas miracle when some packages were stolen from Grandma’s home, but we were able to find a couple tiny charms near a home up the street and then we found the missing necklace that it went with that Tiffany sent for us. We were so very thankful! That night, Kezia wasn’t feeling well & so we took her temperature. 103.8! We gave her a lukewarm bath & it came down, but thus started a two plus week bout of sickness for our family L We all got it except Ireland – headaches, fevers, cold sweats, coughing, runny noses, etc.  It’s lingered for 2 weeks now & we all still have coughs. Not a fun way to end the year – especially since we had to cancel plans with friends – but at the very least, we spent lots of time together & all got lots of rest. In between all the traveling, there was Christmas gift buying & making, gingerbread train making, story reading under the Christmas tree, going to North Elementary  (see McKinley’s section), the Elder’s Quarum Party, Jason’s work party, the ward party, and we hosted the Relief Society Christmas party at our home this year, so we probably had 50 women here. It was fun to see them and visit 

JASON: Jason is nearing the end of his fleet detail. They haven’t officially flown the permanent position, but he will apply when they do. Jason took a week off work after Christmas. Unfortunately, it was spent being sick L He continues to be our Mr. Fix it & we are so thankful! He fixed the freezer (the fan was broken) as well as the dishwasher (replacing the thermostat). He got a high capacity micro SD card for Christmas and has spent a lot of time going through all our songs so he can put them on his phone J Heidi gave him a tie bar for Christmas – it has “Link”s that go across & an “H” if you turn it sideways with a diamond at the end. One frustrating thing for Jason this month was his laptop. It was having issues and they had 3 different guys come to work on it, but it still wasn’t working & he had to use a loaner computer. His regular one still isn’t running right

HEIDI: Heidi was a bit stressed trying to get her house in great shape for the Relief Society Party. She finally decided to call a cleaning lady (Lydia) for help & was so glad! It took a lot of stress off her shoulders. She was also pretty stressed with gifts. She decided to finally make some new Christmas Calendars for everyone with personalized pictures. It did take quite a bit of time, but they were really nice in the end & she was glad she did it. It was no fun being sick at the end of the month (she had a 102 temp), but it makes her thankful to feel better & also to just spend time resting & enjoying her family. Santa brought Heidi a new CD (Calee Reed) and some afterlife books. Jason got her a NEW PHONE! We were done opening gifts & he said “you missed one!” It is a Samsung Galaxy s2 & it’s in great shape. Heidi was so surprised & excited to have a working phone that she can actually download apps and run multiple programs on!! 

McKINLEY:

-One of McKinley’s reflection entries won (in photography)! The family came to the award assembly and got to see her get her ribbons (she got an honorable mention, too)! GREAT JOB McKINLEY!! We are so proud of you! Her entry now goes to the district to be judged :)
-The 3^rd grade had a Christmas program this year and they did a sing along to the story of the little boy who gives his little coin and makes the bells ring in the church. It was really neat! Grandma & Grandpa Devenish came, too!
-One of McKinley’s 4H leaders, Kelsey, got engaged! McKinley was SO sad to see her go, but SO excited because her last name was going to change to Hamilton J
-One morning we woke up to find the table completely set & personalized tags for everyone. What a sweet, thoughtful act by McKinley!
-McKinley really wanted to make personalized gifts for everyone this year. She originally had the idea that she would cut out the first letter of each of her cousin’s names in cardboard and wrap it in yarn with their 3 favorite colors. It just wasn’t working out well and McKinley ran out of time, so she decided to make OHOs (popcicle sticks with yard wrapped around) for everyone. They were really cute & she did a good job. She also made Mrs. Hamilton & Mrs. Edwards necklaces for her teacher aunts. J
-McKinley says she likes to play with her friend, Lindsay, at recess, but lately she’s been running away from her L
-For Christmas, Santa brought McKinley a Bluetooth speaker, so she can walk around and listen to her music all around the house & not have to bring her tablet everywhere.  She also got a set of American Girl movies. From mom & dad she got 5 CDs (1 Girl Nation, Brave, and 3 Disney CDs), a game called Funglish

IRELAND:

-Ireland has had a hard time sleeping lately & is coming into mom & dad’s room more.
-Ireland’s thing lately has been to make SUPER silly faces in all our pictures – even our nice family pictures!
-One night, Ireland was having a hard time sleeping & came into mom. Mom rocked her on her rocking chair & Ireland talked to her about all that she was struggling with. She said that she always made bad choices & that she didn’t have friends at recess and she was lonely. Mom listened & tried to comfort her. She’s been praying extra hard that Ireland will find a good friend at school.
-For some reason, Ireland was being extra naughty right before Christmas. Mom warned about coal & she said “Well, if I get coal in my stocking, I’ll just save it for when we go camping & throw it in the fire!”
-Afer Burton’s wedding & we were headed home, Ireland said “Well, you guys have kissed a LOT because you’ve been married a long time, but Uncle Burton & Natalie are just learning how.” ;)
-For Christmas, Santa brought Ireland a Pearl Princess Barbie with an vanity. Mom & Dad got her a bow & arrow (a favorite of Christmas!), a fashion tracing set, and an outfit. From Aunt Tiffany, she got a Frozen book & craft purse.

KEZIA:
-Kezia colored pictures for each member of the family and put it in our stockings J
-After we got back from our party, Kezia asked “how was your corndog party?” (Elder’s Quarum) ;)
-The girls were looking at their birthday books one day, and mom overheard Kezia say to Ireland “that was the SUPEREST long time ago, right?”
- We were driving home from SLC & were playing a question game. The question was "What are you most worried about & why?" We talked about worries about finding good friends and safety and whatnot. Mom asked Kezia what her answer was & she replied "Bad manners." I said "you're most worried about having bad manners?" She said "Yes. Because I want to be respectable."
-Kezi was quite the little secret wrapper. She made 3 gifts for mom & 2 for dad. She would draw pictures and then run downstairs and wrap them up nicely with paper & ribbon & put them under the tree J She also made one for her preschool teacher.
-Kezia ran up to mom one day and said “I am going to do enough chores today to get a REAL diamond, okay? I’ll work ALL day long!”
-Santa brought Kezi a Frozen Razor scooter & from mom & dad she got a beautiful, nice music box, a Frozen outfit and an IKEA easel with TONS of crafty things to go with it (chalk, paint, markers, crayons, puff paint, etc). Aunt Tiffany got her a frozen book & a string lacing kit.
-After Kezia’s 103.8 temp, her temperature & condition fluctuated, but she still just wasn’t getting better. Finally, after about a week, mom took Kezia to the doctor. She had a wheezy cough & the dr. prescribed her some antibiotics and steroids. She still has a cough, but seems to be doing much better. She didn’t like her medicine, though! She took it the first time & said “It tastes like bubblegum!” and then after a second, she made a face & said “The end tastes yucky!”

LINK:
We sure missed our duder-dude this Christmas. We would have loved to fill his stocking and wrapped his boy gifts. We felt his love, though. On the way to Grandma Devenish’s there was a rainbow! In December! And we were blessed enough to find Heidi’s gift from Tiffany – a picture of her baby boy with some sweet charms like a rainbow and a forget-me-not. The Edwards also made a cute snowman that we brought to your grave. Also – Cannon’s time at the temple was a blessed time. We went through with family names and we felt so much joy. At the end, we noticed the “Links” on the ceiling & Heidi relized it must have been the Oquirrh Mountain Temple that she said the links on the celiling that made her want to name her son Link. It was a sweet, wonderful time. She also gave Cannon a tie with links on it & a letter about how proud she was of Cannon & Link & how they both are going to be awesome missionaries.

NOELLE:
-Noelle really loved the Christmas lights. She would sit and stare at them & try to grab at them.
-Noelle’s food tastes are really growing up! She still loves the baby food, but she really loves it when we give her the food we’re eating. And she’s getting good at drinking from her sippy cup! She also likes the small dissolvable treats, so it’s nice to have some portable food!
-Some of Noelle’s latest cutest tricks: waving bye-bye, clapping hands (SO CUTE!), and trying to blow kisses. She also still loves clicking her tongue and trying to “talk.”
-Noelle will “share” her binki if you say “ahh!”
-She’s started to shake her head. Not sure if she knows that it means no, but she’ll probably figure it out soon!
-Noelle has also got the jumping thing figured out. She gets in her exersaucer & jumps & jumps. It’s difficult to carry on conversations when she gets to jumping because it’s so loud! She also likes to jump in her jumper in mom’s room!
-Noelle is really cute  - sometimes when you dip your head forward, she will dip hers forward to “bump” you J
-Unfortunately, Noelle has turned into quite a mama’s girl. Like – she cries whenever mom is out of sight and fusses when others want to hold her. Mom has to hide so she won’t be upset & just cry for mom all the time.
-Santa brought Noelle a walker with some fun activities on it. She LOVES it!! She also got some blocks, balls, and a cute sweater dress. She also loved getting to suck on a sucker on Christmas day!
-Still no crawling! But she’s really starting to pull up on things and cruise around!
-Her sleep schedule was pretty good for a while, but with all the traveling & her getting sick at the end of the month, it’s not so great any more. She’s usually up 2-3 times at night L Unfortunately, she is still having coughing fits multiple times a night, too.

November Newsletter & Slideshow

https://picasaweb.google.com/103753336633055957263/2014_11_Slideshow

FAMILY:  The 1^st of November found our family in St. George to support Daken on his baptism day! We are very proud of him & enjoyed our time with them & family – as always! Congrats Daken! On the 7^th, we celebrated Link’s birthday – he would have been two. We are thankful for all the support we received that day. See his section for more details. The 8^th was the Storybook Parade! We have lived in Cedar for three and a half years and this was our first time going – it was awesome! Storybook and Disney themed floats mesmerized the girls and some of the characters even came up to say hi! We had a great time at the parade – and eating ice cream afterwards J We did our annual Gerald the Grateful Turkey FHE on the 12^th & it was fun & turned out great. On the 14^th, we had fun welcoming Sister Crandall back from her mission at the airport (she was Kezia’s Sunbeam teacher) and then having a late-over with Olivia and Adelaide Price and Emmy Schoppman. They had earned their late-over by staying in their beds each night J They had fun painting nails, eating popcorn & watching movies. That next night, Heidi & Jason got a sitter & we had a date night with the Bealers at his parent’s home – we played Celestial Companions and Rummicube. It was fun! We headed to Salt Lake on the 19^th, so we could go to Kalli’s high school play on the 20^th. She was the lead (Julia) in The Wedding Singer & it was so much fun to see her! She did a wonderful job as did her entire cast. We decided to stay in SLC till Thanksgiving, so Jason worked at the Uinta-W-C FS building while Heidi & the girls did some fun things, including going to the Pioneer Museum in S. Jordan with the Simons and going to a bounce house in N. Salt Lake. As a family, we went to Joshua’s soccer game and Tiarra’s dress rehearsal. Jason & Heidi also spent a few hours at IKEA, went to a SIDS parents dinner at Cheesecake Factory, which was really neat, and we went on a date eating dinner @ Trisha’s and then to see the newest Hunger Games movies with the other adults in the family – fun! – but hard part was Jason had to take Noelle home because she was too fussy in the movie L Jason watched the girls, too, while the sisters (and mom) had a fun time shopping, eating at the Olive Garden, and watching movies at Trisha’s. It was a wonderful night! Thanksgiving started with Heidi & her dad doing their traditional turkey run. Then we all got ready & were to the Tew’s at noon for a yummy Thanksgiving meal. After helping with clean-up, we headed back to the Potts’ to watch How to Train Your Dragon 2 – really cute movie! Then we played charades and went for a walk. We have many things to be thankful for and It was a fabulous Thanksgiving. Friday morning was even more wonderful as Heidi, Jason, Grandma & Grandpa Potts, Aunt Cindy, GG Tew, Kalli & Tiarra spent the morning at the Jordan River Temple doing family names. Afterwards we went to Kneaders for some yummy food & goodies. Afterwards, we packed up & headed back home, spending Saturday spreading rock for our side yard, putting together the girls’ new bed, going to Home Depot, putting in a new kitchen sink, putting up a couple Christmas trees,  and putting together a new crib for Noelle. It was a busy, but good day J The next day, Sunday, we spent at church and decorating our trees. We are excited for the Christmas season!

JASON: Jason continues to be very busy at work. He had a meeting in Richfield this month, and was able to work from the Uninta/W-C National Forest Office while we were in Salt Lake, which was very convenient.  He & Joseph spent a lot of time hanging out & playing video games J Jason is enjoying getting to know the young men in his new calling with the teachers & getting to plan fun activities. Jason participated in no-shave November with a goatie – getting pretty long now! Jason has worked hard getting the side yard done – and it shows!! We now have rock in our side yard – in the RV pad, down the pathway & into the garden. It looks awesome!!

HEIDI: Although she still had some bad days, Link’s birthday was definitely softened this year for Heidi & it was healing to have a baby to hold as we remembered & celebrated our baby boy. Heidi’s friend, Krista Corry, was so sweet – she brought over a beautiful “Link” bracelet & Heidi wore it the whole day of his birthday. Heidi enjoyed her time in Salt Lake, with her sisters, her friends, and the outings with her sweetheart. She continues to listen to Eragon with Cindy as they each exercise in their own towns J Heidi has been quite the taxi now that the Vogts are gone – driving to both North Elementary for Ireland & McKinley & South Elementary preschool for Kezia. Heidi did well on the healthy eating challenge & lost 10 pounds! J It was hard, but very good. Heidi asked on Facebook if anyone had recommendations for books that dealt with living people on the earth who had interactions with loved ones on the other side & she was surprised by how many people shared their beautiful stories with her! In fact, Jason & Heidi are reading an account of one of Heidi’s HS friends & his story with his brother who passed away. It’s been neat! Heidi is also staying busy buying & ordering things for updating their home. Their living room & family room especially look completely different & it’s fun & exciting to see all the changes. Heidi got a yucky cold sore at the end of the month L

McKINLEY:

-McKinley hasn’t gone to 4H as much this past month – we’ve been gone & busy. She says she wants to do volleyball now, like her cousin Sedona. She’s also wants to take ice skating lessons.

-McKinley was sick & had to miss a couple days of school this month.

-McKinley really wanted to do reflections, so she used mom’s camera to take some pictures and made a poster with them all. She had taken a picture of her tablet & did a cross through it and took pictures of all the other things we should be doing instead. The theme was “the world would be a better place if…”

-She really had fun playing with her cousins in Salt Lake this past month.

-We got a book from a lady who wanted to use a picture of Link’s bench in the book she was making for her grandkids, called Sammy the Sad Sunflower. It is a great book about learning who we really are & knowing that we are each of great worth. McKinley read the book for FHE in Salt Lake City & everyone seemed to enjoy it!

IRELAND:

-At Daken’s baptism, mom overheard this conversation… Sloan (her 2^nd cousin): I’m related to Joseph Smith! Ireland: Well… I’m related to my grandma!

-On the way to school, Ireland said “Mom – I know why they call it this month – Novemberrrrrrrr- cuz it’s cold!!”

-Mom asked Ireland a question one day and Ireland said “I don’t know.  You can check it out for yourself at www.idon’tknow.org” (and if you’re wondering, no – it’s not a real website. Just a smart-alec daughter ;))

-Ireland is feeling a bit lonely lately. Her best friend at school, Drew, moved and her other friend Mahina is in Idaho for another couple months. She is having a hard time making new friends at school L

-One day when we were doing a family clean, Ireland was just the best helper!! She didn’t complain one bit and ran around taking care of everything. She definitely earned a date point!

-Ireland had fun on her lateover with Emi Schoppman J

KEZIA:

-One evening for her prayer, Kezia said “And please bless that Noelle will survive the whole time she is here.”

-For Kezia’s birthday, she got a dress-up kit and one night she decided to put on a “show” – complete with tickets and theater candy! It was awesome! J

-Kezi had a fun time with her lateover friend, Adelaide. They don’t get to see each other as much lately with Addi being in Kindergarten.

-Kezia gave a primary talk this month. Mom had printed out the talk and was practicing with her. She was doing really great! She just messed up a little bit when she said “thou shalt love the lord thy god with all thy heart, with all your SOUP, and with all your mind” J

-Kezi says she wants to be a doctor AND a princess when she grows up.

-Kezia went birthday shopping with Grandma & Grandpa Potts when she was in SLC. For some reason, she chose ANOTHER dress up kit and ANOTHER Anna doll. Mom convinced her to order the Elsa & Anna dolls online instead J

-While we were watching Tiarra’s dress rehearsal, the song they singing kept repeating “Welcome to Toyland!” Kezia whispered “it sounds like they are saying toilet?”

-Mom was talking to Kezia and Kezia was staring at mom’s lip (where her cold sore is) She pointed at it and said “those look like beard seeds.”

-Mom was fixing Kezi’s hair one day & Kezi was telling mom “I KNOW that Satan is on the naughty list, mom. He’s caused nothing but trouble!!”

-Kezia continues to be  stellar reader & is getting really good at math, too! Mom loves having her home in the mornings & having “mommy & Kezi time” J

LINK:

Happy 2^nd birthday our duder-dude. It’s hard to believe it’s been 2 whole years since you came into our lives and blessed us so very much with your presence.  We donated 30 bags to the Jubilee House, we donated to the Ronald McDonald House both in SLC and in Philadelphia. We released balloons at your bench. We hope they made their way all the way to heaven & you enjoyed their bright colors and your new Lightening McQueen car. We went to McDonald’s on your birthday and we ate cake. Our friend, Diane Bealer, had a new nephew born on your birthday! They named him Linkon, and we felt it was a tender mercy.  We continue to try and serve in your name. We felt your joy as 7 of us did temple work for family names. Grandma was working in the temple one night and she said you were in the elevator with her! She said that you were very joyful and were basically letting her know that being busy in the temple is what it’s all about. That touched our hearts!!! We love & miss you each and every day!

NOELLE:

-At 7 months old, Noelle is growing up fast! We can’t seem to get enough of her cuteness!

-Noelle got her first cold this month and had a runny nose, fever, and croupy cough for a few days. Mom took her into the doctor just to make sure it wasn’t RSV. She also seemed to be in teething pain. It was a difficult combination for everyone! Thankfully she is feeling much better!

-We finally decided it was time for Noelle to move out into Link’s room. It took a lot of courage – and a donated crib – to accomplish it, but we are so thankful. She was not sleeping well & neither were mom & dad. It’s taken some adjustment, but she’s done really well with the change & it’s SO nice to not have to tiptoe and whisper all the time in our room! She is still in the Sleep Guardian and has the Snuza on.

-One of the cute things Noelle has been doing is to give kisses! She’s not always in the mood, but when she is and you say “kisses!” and pucker up, she’ll give you a nice open-mouth, slobbery wet one! It’s so cute!

-Another cute thing she’s doing is making clicking noises. She just thinks she is so grown up when she can sit and click, click, click!

-No crawling yet, but she is getting closer every day! She will sit and then put her hands way out in front of her. She just hasn’t figured out how to get up on all fours yet.

-Noelle is such a strong stander! If we place her next to the couch, she will stand there for a long time – and has even started to cruise!

-Noelle loves music! She pays attention when people sing at church. She  LOVES to bang on our real piano – and the toy one.

-She gets into such a giggly mood right before she’s tired. She just laughs at just about everything – and her sisters love to sit and say funny words and noises to get her into a giggling fit.

-We are trying the sippy cup with Noelle this month – she still hasn’t quite figured out how to tip it up, but she is getting closer all the time!

-She’s a flapper!! When she’s excited – watch out, she flaps those arms like crazy! J

-She loves to hold Link’s picture at night while mom gets her jammies on.

-For some reason, she HATES being put into her high chair at first. She screams & cries, but once the food comes, she usually calms right down – especially at night when we have the candles at dinner. She loves to stare.

-She has really started making messes! Anything that is within reach – a bag of elastics, a cup of juice, etc – is fair game! She has a strong grab and a quick swiping action!

-She doesn’t seem to be into Signing Time or Baby Einstein yet. She gets fussy after a few minutes.

-In the morning, Kezia & Mommy like to sing songs and read books to Noelle. It’s so fun & sweet J

-She has DEFINITELY turned into a mommy’s girl. Especially when someone else watches her, but even with her daddy, she cries & reaches for “MAMAMAMA!”