Looking Forward...

Yes, it's that time of year again. Time to do my "New Year progress ideas" list.

Yup.

Not resolutions. Not goals. Just "progress ideas." Kind of takes the stress out, right?

Well, this year I actually have a lot of things I want to undo - almost as much as do. You see, I have some mindsets that are really holding me back. They are detrimental to me achieving peace, happiness and joy. And I want to change them.

Here are a few things I hope by this time next year I will have significantly shifted my perception:

1. ALL or NOTHING. Right now I get trapped in the mentality that Personal Study only counts when it’s quiet and I can spend a lot of time. Family time only counts when it’s planned and executed. Exercise only counts when it’s 30+ minutes of consecutive time. Cleaning only counts if the whole house is looking great. CHANGE THAT! Everything counts! Just because I didn’t get my 30 minutes of personal study in first thing in the morning, it doesn’t mean that I missed the window for the rest of the day & can’t make it happen. Just because I didn’t get an hour workout in first thing or don’t have time last thing, it doesn't mean that the day is a goner. I can MAKE IT HAPPEN! EVERYthing counts – every act of service, every minute spent in personal study, every minute spent being active.

2. I need to have a plan, have goals, but sometimes I think I try so hard to accomplish my goals, to set new heights, to aspire to new ideals that I forget that the present is called that because it’s a gift. I’m going to wake up one day & my kids will be grown. They won’t WANT me to play with them anymore. They won’t WANT the hugs, kisses, and songs. Instead of endless chatter, they won’t WANT to talk to me. LORD – help me to remember to live in the here & NOW. To play, to listen, to talk, to kiss & hug. These are sometimes difficult, but precious, precious times. I want to cherish them.

3. I’m tired of just being “fine” or “O.K.” or even “good.” Why do I live my life in mediocrity? Because fear pulls me back. I’m afraid to admit that I’m “GREAT!” “WONDERFUL!” or “SUPER-BLESSED!”. I’m afraid because the minute I admit that then something bad is going to happen. And then I won’t even be mediocre. I’ll be terrible. This next year, I want to start answering “GREAT!” or “WONDERFUL.” Of course, it won’t happen all the time – and I’m not going to blatantly lie, but I’m going to try & let go of the negative stigmatisms & start to be optimistic. Besides, even if I’m not feeling wonderful, if I say it I may just start to be wonderful!

4. God loves me. I never doubt that God loves my children. Or my mom. Or my husband. Or that lady in church that is always on time with every hair in place. Often, though, I struggle with really knowing that He loves ME. Heidi. I am making this a daily affirmation as I get ready in the morning. There are times (especially during priesthood blessings) when I think I understand a tiny portion of that love. But I want to make it more real. More personal. More powerful.

I'm structuring my other New Years progress ideas from President Uchtdorf's talk "Of things that Matter Most" - and have 5 things under each category - Relationship with God, Relationship with Family, Relationship with Fellowman, and Relationship with Myself.

We're still doing our "progress not perfection" blog, if you're interested.

2011 is gonna be a great year!