Saturday, October 18, 2008

Heart-Breaking


Yesterday, my neighbor and good friend lost her twin babies at 20 weeks. Her baby girl was born first and as I understood, lived about an hour and a half. Then her precious baby boy came and he lived a little over an hour. My thoughts and prayers are SO much with their little family right now. I'm sure they could use your prayers as well. It's breaking my heart to hear this news.
It's times like this when I plead "Dear God - send her my angels." Surely, I do not need my guardian angels at a time like this, when she so desperately needs comfort, help, understanding. I wish SO much I could take away the pain and the loss and the why's. I feel so inadequate and helpless.

This event also adds to my wondering about people we know have lost a child or almost lost a child:

- 1 family member and 3 friends lost their babies - all about or after 20 weeks.
- Our friends lost their little almost-2-year old little girl.
- 1 family member and 1 friend who had true scares with choking & had to go to the E.R. recently.

And so I can't help but ask myself why. Do we just happen to know more people that have lost children or is it that more children are actually dying? Is it that these sweet, beautiful spirits are too pure and righteous for this increasingly wicked world - and so they come to get bodies - for however brief a time? I can't help but wonder if I will have a trial that will utilize these amazing parent's wisdom and peace through trials.

Those reading this that have gone through such a trial, please help me know how I can help her and her family. It's so hard for me to imagine - to comprehend such a trial. And again, please pray for her.

7 comments:

Lena Baron said...

Hi Sweet Friend, Well, First you might suggest she go to my website/and you go to my website and read my articles. http://www.AwakeningYourHealth.com it is now my Baby Loss website. Will they be burrying the babies? I REALLY HOPE SO! I REALLY HOPE SHE HOLDS THEM TOO! If it's not too late, take my articles to her. Otherwise, be there for her. My girlfriends here started a morning walking group with me. I was able to talk with them every morning. This was incredible therapy. I have many other thoughts, email me more details... Love you! You are a blessing to many!

Ryan and Shannan Hoffman said...

I'm so sorry to hear about that. That is so heartbreaking. I can't imagine losing my baby, I had a scare this week with that and it was terrifying. I will keep your friends in my prayers and I hope thy will feel comforted.

Patricia Potts said...

Dearest Heidi, my angel daughter,

You are there for all of us. Family, friends and others. Your heart is pure and you give more than lip service. You are watching the boys for Robin and you are loving their family in so many ways. I have seen you and Robin bless each others lives over the past few years. I know your constant prayers and service will give her angel help here on earth.
Love,
mom

Gardners Glad Tidings said...

I am so sorry to hear about your friend. Tragedies like that make me grateful for my trials. I cannot imagine losing a child, how ugly deep, black and painful that would be. I shudder at the thought. Time doesn't heal it either, you just learn how to move through life with that loss as part of you, like a new limb. My thoughts are with her. Maybe your tears help her, tears sometimes help more then words. All my love and admiration, you are such a great woman.

Miss Molly said...

Heidi,

Oh, this breaks my heart. Just be there for her. Just call out of the blue, send a text, drop things off without needing to come in and talk, and Kristen is right--those who have cried with us have meant more to us than any words could ever say. I too, have wondered about the seemingly increasing amount of children dying. One thought is that this has been happening all around us...for a long time. But until we have children of our own, or know people PERSONALLY who lose a child, we are a little immune to it. A blurb on the news here, an article there, we turn off the TV because it is too painful and happens to "other people". And then one day....

And then our eyes are opened. And life will never be the same. For better and worse.

I haven't wanted to ask my mom and her generation if they had this many friends lose children, or if, as you said, it might be something to do with living in the last days. However, more children died (50% of all deaths on the census records up until almost the 40's! were children) in the early days of the world and the church. I wish I knew why. I only know that we have to carry on one day at a time.

I loved your prayer for your friend--to send YOUR angels to her as well as her own. That is so beautiful.

I have been struggling with some family members and a few others who seem to be immune to pain or who choose not to acknowledge it because it is "just too hard for them". YOU, however, know what it means to mourn with those that mourn and not turn away from a broken heart because it is too scary or too painful. THANK YOU.

Miss Molly said...

I meant I HAVE wanted to ask my mom and older women if they had friends and family members lose children.

Heidi said...

I'm so sorry for their loss as well. Just ask if she wants to talk about details that happened, her thoughts and frustrations. It also helped to realize the blessings you have around you that are still there and that the babies are in a better place just waiting for them to raise them on the other side. I'm so excited and my kids are excited that we are going to be grown up and not have to worry about the bad things that happen in our lifetime. We get to enjoy raising our little girl even more than we would here I believe. It's also a great teaching tool to help kids be better so that they can live with their sibling as well as our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.