Dezi, we hardly knew ye...

Sigh... yes, our fish Dezi died last night.

And, here I was amazed... and yes, even proud that we had kept her alive for almost 5 months (McKinley got Dezi for her birthday in Sept) - even when we totally forgot about her during Christmas in Richfield and she didn't have any food for almost 4 days. She was fine. So - why did she go now? I have to admit I have felt guilty, trying to think what I did or didn't do that could have caused it.

We were gone pretty much all day yesterday and Jason noticed she was "floating" in the afternoon. Luckily, McKinley didn't notice when we got home in the evening, but after she went to bed and Jason got home from school, I talked with him about what I was going to say or do this morning when McKinley would surely notice. I must be a dork, but I felt kind of worried about it. We had never dealt with this before.

Should I just go buy another one at Wal-mart & hope she doesn't notice?

Should I take care of Dezi now and tell McKinley in the morning that Dezi went to someone else's house?

Should I go into depth about death and life and fishie heaven and involve her in saying good-bye?

Jason went to school this morning, and when McKinley woke up, I sat her down and explained to her that animals die sometimes, and that Dezi had died last night.

She just kind of nodded her head and went with it, until we went and got Dezi to say good-bye. She broke down and cried "I want my Dezi back. I want my Dezi back!" I held her as she cried and maybe dropped a tear or two myself. Then my brave little McKinley told Dezi what a great fish she had been and we said good-bye. Dezi then took the porcelain highway straight to heaven. McKinley was worried she would be scared, but yes, I did talk a little bit about fishy heaven and her being happy and with Jesus.

Then I told her she could watch a movie. She said she wanted to watch a movie with a fishy in it, so Nemo is helping her to remember her sweet fish.

So...thanks Dezi.

Thanks for teaching a little girl about the ways of fishes.

Thanks for for laughs & smiles as we watched your shadows dance on our kitchen cabinets as the morning light streamed through the windows.

Thank you for bringing happiness.

Thank you for helping to teach responsibility.

Thank you for never complaining.

Thank you for just being there.

You will leave a hole in our hearts and on our kitchen island.