Friday, March 20, 2009

It's Time...

To tell everyone that we are expecting baby #3! I usually like to wait until after the first trimester to spill the beans, but since this is like a 2nd journal to me it's been hard to refrain, especially with how I've been feeling. And, we heard the heartbeat this week, so that helps and I hope that everything goes well from here on out.
So - how far along am I? Let's just say this baby will FOR SURE be here by the very beginning of November. I like to be real conservative because McKinley was 10 days late & Ireland was a full week late.

This pregnancy has been very difficult for me. I say for ME because I know it could be so much worse. My sister Cindy had hyperemisis and was throwing up all day long and in and out of the hospital to get IVs. My mom and good friend Lena also had MUCH worse pregnancies. So, I'm trying to keep things in perspective and not complain too much, but compared to my last 2, it's been pretty brutal. Not that my my last 2 were perfect - I threw up a few times, but I usually felt better after the morning. With this one, I feel like I'm in a seemingly never-ending cycle of NEEDING to eat, NOTHING looking good, forcing myself to eat something, feeling terrible afterwards - nausea and/or heartburn, feeling like puking and/or puking, and then feeling exhausted and/or sleeping. And the cycle starts over - from the minute I get up to when I try to get to sleep at night with my chest burning. I have pretty much been non-functional for the past month. I've thrown all my goals out the window and just tried to focus on getting through the day and not throw up too much. So - needless to say my house has been messy, I have only gotten dressed when really necessary, my girls usually aren't dressed either & rarely have their hair fixed. I've gotten behind on about everything & tried to just focus on getting through this first trimester.

So - if I have seen you in the past month and I seemed distracted, unresponsive, or even short with you, please forgive me. I surely don't mean to be that way. I have tried to pretend like I feel fine, but I've had a few people in the past week or so ask if I'm OK & I've had to 'fess up. All I can say is that I feel so bad for those poor nursery kids. I do the singing for 4 nurseries and I'm sure it was almost comical to see me do "popcorn popping" while I felt like puking. I certainly don't feel like myself and I'm anxiously looking forward to the day I can wake up and feel like me - with motivation, energy, and a good attitude. The analogy of the roller coaster is so appropriate. I feel like I have no control over anything - I'm just strapped in for the ride. It truly amazes me how something so tiny can cause so much havoc.

OK - so I have now done some much-needed venting, but I don't want to end on that note. You'd think I'd be a bit worried right now to be pregnant with Jason between jobs (and I will admit I've had my panic-attack moments), but overall I feel overwhelmingly blessed and comforted. Having Jason at home has been SUCH a blessing to me! He has not complained once and has been relentless in asking me what he can do for me - from making me breakfast in bed to putting cold rags on my neck when I've been nauseated or throwing up, to rubbing my back, to watching the girls so I can sleep and sleep and sleep. He is SUCH a blessing to me! I don't know what I would have done if he were working all the time. I might have survived, but I guarantee my girls would probably be watching TV pretty much all day.

I am so thankful for this tiny new life. Let's just say that even though I wasn't ready, there was a temple visit where there was NO doubt in my mind that there was a spirit waiting to be here and the Lord wanted us to bring it here. I am so very humbled that the Lord has given me this opportunity - and I am EVER aware of how precious life is - especially with how many people we know in just the past year that have lost babies and children. So - I will try and take this journey with gratitude for every experience and trust and faith in the Lord and His plan for my life and our family.

15 comments:

{The Wade's} said...

YEA!!!! Congratulations!! So far we are the only two expecting in the Fall!!

Dave*Ashley*Sloan said...

Congrats! We are so excited for you guys. I hope you start feeling better soon. It is no fun to be sick:)

Ryan and Shannan Hoffman said...

Yay! Congratulations! That is so exciting. I am thrilled for you. You are the perfect mom, I inspire to be like you. Love you.

Patricia Potts said...

Well put Heidi.
I loved your honest appraisal of "the way life is..."
By the way, you haven't been at all short with any of us.
I can only imagine how you've gotten through the nursery times. I probably would have asked to be released.
- Your tribute to Jason was beautiful, well-deserved and loving.
- Thank you for sharing your temple experience as well.
I love you megamuch and am looking forward to another wonderful grandchild!

Love,
mom/sis

Lena Baron said...

Yes my dear sister, I do love you! You are so much more aware of your weaknesses then anyone else. I am AMAZED (like your mom) that you went to nursery. That is your marathon spirit shining through. I did ask to be released from one of my callings. Good job! Always listen to your body though, and follow your Mother Heart (Heavenly Father directs it.) Love You!

Miss Molly said...

Oh my goodness! Three kids...wow. If anyone can handle it with grace and super athlete style it is you. I am SO sorry you have been feeling so lousy. Not fun at all. I'm hoping for a boy (I'm sure jason is too?) I hope things get better as the pregnancy progresses. We love you guys.

Mindy Benson said...

Congrats again! This will be fun being pregnant at the same time!!!

Danny and Darcie said...

Congrats! I hope you get feeling better after the first trimester.

Britany said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!! I am so excited for you guys, but that is horrible that you are so sick. I hope you get feeling better real soon!

Dorothy said...

Congrats! I love pregnancy and for sure can never keep my mouth shut! I spill right after I get that positive. I am so excited for you! I hope you start feeling better, It is always nice to get over all the sickness!

diana said...

Congrats to you guys. Sorry that you've been so sick! Let me know if there is anything I can do to help!

Heidi said...

Congrats!! I'm sorry you feel so crappy. Who cares what your house or you look like. Just try to stay hydrated and drink water. That's the only beverage I could drink without feeling as nausous. Good luck!

Heidi said...

P.S. Happy belated birthday! Hope you had fun

Johanna said...

yeah for you guys! we are so excited for you. Number three is so special, (not that #1 and 2 weren't)but special in a different way. we really need to get together soon. i will call you sometime. and happy late birthday! we miss you guys

The Goose said...

Congratulations!! I'm so excited for you two!